The most memorable events in life are often milestones, such as 16th- birthday parties and high-school graduations. Even those seemingly vivid memories fade, however, and eventually still photographs replace the sounds, smells and feelings of our special days. Although on most occasions I would welcome a vibrant memory to forever play in my mind, there is one particular event in my lifetime that stands as the exception- the fear instilled in me on Sept. 11, 2001, will eternally chill my bones.

Initially, I believed the fear I experienced was a natural response to the horrific images I viewed on television. After all, I was only a freshman in high school and barely 14 when I watched the second plane crash violently into the second tower. For whatever reason, I was at school early that morning when my choir director walked solemnly into the room and turned on the television. With me not knowing what had just occurred, the tone of the reporters’ voices alerted me that I should tune in, because my life would never again be the same.

Black smoke billowed eerily out of one of the most recognized buildings in America, but initially there was still little mention of a possible terrorist attack. While trying to consume as much information as my naive mind allowed, I watched the unimaginable, the unthinkable and the impossible become a reality. The second plane collided with the second tower, making its solid walls tear away like paper. The silence of the moment was truly deafening. I was terrified.

Days, weeks and eventually months went by, and the images of that terrible moment in American history slowly disappeared in the news. If it was only the images I was afraid of, then my fear should have dissolved with each passing day, but I was still afraid. And today, I am still afraid.

With time, I have come to understand that although the images of smoking rubble and broken men and women added to my fear, they were not at its foundation. Instead, it was the idea that at any moment of any day, a terrorist can strike. We are the United States of America, the greatest country in the world, but within her boundaries we are no longer guaranteed safety.

After Sept. 11, America was expected to believe that airport security was at its best. The freedom to choose what was acceptable in carry-on bags was sacrificed, but most Americans felt it was a small price to pay to prevent another terrorist attack. Unfortunately, as the foiled plot on Aug. 10 taught us, there is always that chance that some seemingly innocent product, such as Gatorade in this instance, can turn into a medium for “mass murder on an unimaginable scale.”

Because of the near catastrophe in August, airport security is now uncomfortably strict. Only a handful of absolute necessities such as passports and mini-purses are allowed. The list is extremely restrictive, yet on Aug. 25, only 15 days after security was upped to an unimaginable level, an American college student boarded a plane with a stick of dynamite and other bomb making materials in his carry-on . Fortunately, his intentions were not evil, but imagine the sickening possibilities if in fact he was in connection with a terrorist group.

The terrorists’ ultimate goal is to implant dread into our souls so that even the most common rituals, such as riding public transportation, are questioned by our fearing minds. Since Sept. 11, 2001, I have never stopped being afraid due to narrow escapes like Aug. 10 and Aug. 25. You are ignorant if you will not admit your fear.

Although our armed forces and advancements in airport security are making terrorism increasingly difficult, there will never be an ultimate conquest of this evil practice. Prevention and the continuous containment of terrorist masterminds are steps absolutely necessary for the sanity of the world and will thankfully extend our sacred days of peace, but in my opinion, we are fighting desperately for what has proven to be an unattainable victory.

My outlook since the attacks has been bleak, but also regrettably realistic. My journalism professor, Barbara Mack, often jokes in class that we will soon be stripped naked and given a plastic bag to wear before boarding the plane. Her comments are light, but her message is heavy.

One day all conceivable preventions will be in place, but even then, will we be safe? Unfortunately, I believe the terrorist network is rooted deeply beyond our most terrible nightmares. With every terrorist caught, another is cultivating. The question is not will there be another attack, but when? Will it be in October 2006, June 2008, February 2010? The date is unknown, but the clock is ticking.

Stephanie Eifler is a sophomore in pre-journalism and mass communication from Carroll.