Q: What are the two letters on a pirate’s keyboard?

A: AYE and ARRRR!

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite pasta?

A: MacARRRRrrrroni!

Q: How did the pirate know he found land?

A: He was shore of it!

Q: What does a pirate say when he takes over Santa’s job?

A: Ho ho ho and a bottle of rum!

Q: What did Captain Hook die of?

A: Jock itch!

Q: Where do pirates keep their bathrooms?

A: On the poop deck!

Q: What did the 100-year-old pirate say when he saw a ghost?

A: Arrrrr, me HEARTY!

Q: Where does a pirate go to college?

A: HARRRVARRD!

Q: Why do pirates always carry a bar of soap?

A: So if they’re shipwrecked, they can wash themselves to shore!

Q: How much does it cost a pirate to pierce his ears?

A: A buck-an-ear!

Q: How do you keep a pirate from robbing your house?

A: Fill your lawn with beavers!

Q: What do you call a pirate who skips class?

A: Captain Hooky!

Q: Have you heard about the new pirate movie?

A: It’s rated AARRRRGGH!

Q: Why is it rated AARRRRGGH?

A: Because of all the booty!

Q: What has eight hands and eight legs?

A: Eight pirates!

Q: How did the pirate stop smoking?

A: He used the patch!

Q: How do pirates know when they are about to be attacked?

A: They watch Sea-span!

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite place to eat?

A: ARRRby’s!

Q: Why did the pirate go on vacation?

A: He needed some AARRRRGGH and AARRRRGGH!

Q: Why did the pirate cross the sea?

A: To get to the other tide!

Q: Why couldn’t the pirates play cards?

A: The captain was standing on the deck!

Q: What does a pirate take for indigestion?

A: Yo ho ho and a bottle of Tums!

Q: Did you hear about the pirate who took up boxing?

A: He had a killer left hook!

Q: What’s a pirate’s favorite weapon?

A: A skull and cross-bow!

Q: Why didn’t the pirate get hungry when he was left on a desert island?

A: Because of all the sand which is there!