On this morning exactly five years ago, Tim Haviland was presumably sitting at his desk on 96th floor of the World Trade Center. He was working as a computer programmer for Marsh McLennan, Inc. By 8:46 a.m., American Airlines Flight 11 would crash into the north tower, incinerating virtually everything between floors 93 and 99. Tim Haviland would not make it out alive.

In an interview done shortly after the tragedy, Tim’s parents and long-time Ames residents, the Rev. Douglas and Betty Haviland said they remembered waiting by the phone all day and taking it to bed with them that night. A call confirming Tim’s safety would never come.

Five years later, Betty described dealing with the tragedy in this way: “You think you’re doing fine, and then it hits you in the guts.”

Douglas agreed that their grieving process has been somewhat unpredictable.

“I have found that with a death that is a major public event, you’re not allowed to take a normal course,” Douglas said.

But the Havilands said they have found some comfort in knowing that Tim’s death was part of history.

“Tim was always interested in history,” Betty said.

She called him an “amateur historian” for the way he was always reading about the Civil War and World War II. “Now, he’s part of history himself,” she said.

Douglas said of all their eight children, Tim was the most politically conscious.

“When Tim got passionate about something, we’d just say ‘Yes, Tim, we agree with you, Tim,’ and he’d go on for another five minutes,” Douglas said.

Betty remembered that Tim had gone to his first caucus when Bobby Kennedy was running for president. She said Tim volunteered at Democratic headquarters all the way through high school and college.

Approximately a year after Tim’s death, his parents received word that some of the bones salvaged from the rubble were identified as Tim’s. Douglas said because there was some tissue connected to the bones that indicated incineration, it’s probably safe to conclude that Tim died almost instantaneously. His ashes were scattered over the ocean near the Long Island home he had shared with his wife, Amy, and her two children from a previous marriage.

In January of this year, Tim’s wife Amy Haviland died of Sudden Death Syndrome, a disease inducing sudden cardiac arrest, many times without warning. Although she had had some previous medical problems and a personality Betty described as “fragile,” the Havilands said Amy’s death was largely unexpected.

“She never recovered from Tim’s death,” Betty said. “She had a heart attack, but we think of it as dying of a broken heart.”

Amy’s children now reside with her sisters. Amy’s brother was a fireman who was also killed in the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks. The Havilands recently learned he had been awarded a medal of honor.

Although it has been five years since the tragedy occurred, the Havilands continue to think of Tim.

“It’s always there,” Betty said.

She said she thinks of Tim every day.

Douglas agreed that their loss still hasn’t completely sunk in.

“I don’t buy this closure stuff,” he said. “A loss that’s left a major gap in your life is never going to go away.”

Although their politically active son is gone, Douglas and Betty continue to stay politically active themselves. On Monday, the Havilands are speaking at press conference on the steps of the capital with the governor to welcome home Dr. Selden Spencer from Afghanistan. Spencer is a congressional hopeful who has spent the last two weeks training doctors in Afghanistan.

Although the Havilands had hoped that the events of Sept. 11, 2001, would help increase dialogue between the Muslim and the Western world, they are disappointed with the current state of affairs.

“We’re threatening to refight the Crusades here,” Douglas said.

But he has hope for improvement in the future.

“The goal for the world is fairly clear, if we stop to think. It’s building an international order that will bring more peace and cooperation,” Douglas said. “We’re all stuck on this planet; we’ve got to make it better.”