All right, so we change the name of the section a lot. Sue me. Last year it was Pulse, before that it was Features and even before that it was A&E. And now it’s FYI. But don’t roll your eyes just yet.

Just like – no matter how hard she tries – Joan Rivers looks like Skeletor, a simple face lift does not remedy a failing infrastructure.

And the only thing crappier than that analogy was the mission statement of the former Pulse section.

First of all, we are here to serve you, Mr. and Ms. Joe and Jane Student. This is a paper for you, by you.

That means expect to see content that will make you go “boomshackalacka!” like you were a commentator on NBA Jam.

There are several ways this section will improve. Each day FYI will have a designated focus for news that you care about. Monday is FYI Business, followed by FYI Campus, FYI Health, FYI Food and an open Friday Flex page.

Each day you can expect news that involves an important aspect of your everyday life.

There’s also the matter of the brand new Highnote. It won’t retain the name or the same purpose.

It will now be known as the FYISU. We’re working to make it more of your weekend guide than ever before. Think more like Juice and less like your one-stop shop for coverage on that shi*** band you don’t care about coming to Des Moines.

Still reading? That’s a surprise. In our research we’ve found that the dang-fangled Internet and our whiz-bang society have given you too short of an attention span to read through all those lengthy articles.

I understand the dilemma is not because we – that’s 18- to 24-year-olds – are illiterate monkeys, and it certainly has nothing to do with the Daily’s award-winning journalism. It’s just that we’re really impatient. Hell, I’m not even reading what I’m typing right now.

It’s in my vested interest to keep you reading by whatever means necessary.

Do you want your stories broken up and laid out in a quicker-to-read manner?

Or how about graphic displays of information? Consider it done – as long as you keep reading.

With this new section, I encourage you to let your voice be heard.

Do you have a totally kickin’ YouTube video? Promoting your local band?

Would you like your picture in the paper doing something stupid?

I have no problem putting it in the section. Contact me at [email protected] or sirrobertjoseph on AIM.

If you don’t believe me, test me.

I’m as serious as death here, people.

– Robert Lombardi is the FYI editor from Dubuque. Seriously -ÿhe’s not kidding.