One thing that angers me more than anything in this world is people who discuss their March Madness brackets. I dislike these people more than the dude who pulls the CyRide cord at obvious stops. Stupid. While around Campustown this weekend, I overheard several conversations about people’s brackets. Inevitably, they went like so:

Mildly Intoxicated Guy A: “Hey bro, like dude, I’ve got seven of my eight teams left in my bracket, man I’m stoked! But, Kansas really screwed me, man. I mean, dude, Bradley? I didn’t even know there was a Bradley!”

Somewhat Inebriated Dude B: “Yeah man. Yeah. I’ve got all eight left. And I even picked Northwestern State. I just had that feeling, bro, you know when you feel it. Yeah, that was me with Northwestern State. I just knew, man. I felt it.”

This continues for another 20 minutes, as they trade barbs on which games they picked correctly. Honestly, I’d rather sit and overhear a conversation about a random female’s thoughts on how her ex, Johnny, likes her evil nemesis Kim because of her large “assets.” That can at least be entertaining.

But instead I have to hear about your bracket. As thrilling as it may be that you picked George Mason to make it to the Elite Eight, keep it to yourself. It doesn’t make you smarter. I couldn’t care less if you knew that UCLA’s Luc Richard Mbah a Moute would lead his team to the Final Four. You can’t even pronounce his name. Ahh . I feel better.

Now, with all that being said, I would like to use this valuable space to send a message to a guy I have never met. A guy who is my new idol.

Dear Facebook pool leader guy,

I greatly admire your NCAA prognosticating skills. Being that you are in first place of almost 2500 ISU students in the Facebook tournament deserves recognition.

How you knew that George Mason would defy all odds and make it to the Final Four as an 11 seed is borderline genius. Your ability to see through the fraud that is Duke is equally astounding. In fact, you had the Dukies losing in the first round to Southern. The Southern Jaguars may have fallen short that night, but you clearly had to know with that bold pick that Duke wasn’t for real. I haven’t seen that type of vision since Marissa broke up with Ryan on “The OC.” Simply incredible.

Your Final Four picks of George Mason, Xavier, Southern and Northern Iowa only add to your expertise. You had to know before those picks that Greg McDermott would be the next Cyclone coach and you obviously were showing respect to the man. That’s why I admire your forecasting. You are not only picking to show up 2500 students, but also to show respect to the Dermonator.

To add to your luster, you have George Mason’s Patriots winning the whole shebang and nobody else on this campus can say as much. That should earn you a key to the city. And not only do you have the Patriots winning; you put yourself out there by predicting a 99-23 final score over Southern. Wow. With your skills, I am heading to Vegas right now and taking the Patriots.

So Facebook pool leader guy, one last question. What are your thoughts on the Powerball for tomorrow?

– Brent Blum is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.