Let me start this unprofessional piece by saying I am very pleased with the decision to hire Greg McDermott. I think he will be a solid coach who will consistently get Iowa State to pull out their dancing shoes.

But there are more pressing matters to discuss.

The press conference ordeal to announce McDermott’s hiring looked more like a World Wrestling Entertainment event than a press conference. It also prompted me to wonder, “What if Wayne Morgan was standing in the rafters shaking his head in disgust WWE-style about the decision?”

It was a fun thought, but the Daily’s assistant sports editor Brett McIntyre took the idea to a whole new level in this Facebook message sent to me.

Picture this scene:

McDermott’s talking, suddenly House of Pain starts playing.

ISU President Gregory Geoffroy looks up and says “Good God! That’s Wayne Morgan’s music!”

Morgan strolls onto the stage with the Rainbow Classic title belt. He and McDermott talk back and forth for a while.

Then they start to trade punches – the belt goes flying.

Morgan is the first to go down.

McDermott turns around and flexes for the crowd.

Morgan crawls over and grabs the belt.

Just before he clocks McDermott, Pollard blasts Morgan with a chair.

Rahshon Clark and Shawn Taggart jump up and beat the hell out of Pollard.

Geoffroy gets thrown through a table.

Chaos.

I’m angry I didn’t think of that myself. McIntyre is a genius.

With that said, I miss Morgan.

I know, I know, he wasn’t the best game coach. In fact, some could say he didn’t exactly coach much at all. But, that’s why I found the man so charming. He may have let the team do whatever they wanted on the court, he may have acted more like a good buddy than a basketball coach, he may have divided a good portion of the fan base with his coaching skills, but one thing was always true with the good Captain. The man had some amazing quotes.

This year my goal was to document the quotables of the Captain for future entertainment purposes and because they were just so darn amusing. He didn’t disappoint. In 2004, Wayne became infamous for his use of the animal analogy. He had some beauties:

“Rahshon Clark and Tasheed Carr are like young colts. They’re not even 1-year-old yearlings yet. When they grow up, they’re going to be special.”

“Curtis is extremely strong, extremely under control. He’s like a bulldog – he gets ahold of you and he isn’t letting go.”

Brilliant stuff. Absolutely captivating.

But he came out with animal reference guns a blazing on media day this year.

“Curtis Stinson’s intensity and ferocity remind me of a great white shark, (three second pause) a big one.”

I about lost it in front of all the professional media. The fact that he waited those extra few seconds to emphasize that Stinson wasn’t just a small great white shark was more than I could handle. Now, I really miss Morgan.

That was Morgan at his finest. But none can come close to the quote of the century, which was said in February after a nice win over Colorado. Speaking of his young post guys’ development, he put together this masterpiece:

“It’s like playing Pacman or Galaxia; at first you have to put in several quarters, then after a while you put in less and less quarters, until eventually you play with one quarter and get a top score.”

Several points on this quote:

One. He at some point had to play the arcade back in the day. Nobody can make that up without some prior experience.

Two. He had to be thinking of this prior to making this analogy. It had to cross his mind that he was comparing Taggart to a game of Pacman at some point. I kept wondering if he made this connection during the game or on the way to the press room. And why was it Galaxia and not Centipede? But, he went with it regardless and made my February a good one. That’s what sports are all about.

I miss the good Captain.

– Brent Blum is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.