Skits mark end of Varieties

Kevin W. Stillman

When agent 007 strolls across the screen in the gun-barrel sequence that opens each “James Bond” movie, it takes an entire symphony orchestra to create his signature theme music. At Friday and Saturday’s performances of Varieties, the piece was recreated by just six musicians – all playing the trombone.

The annual Varieties concluded Saturday with three skits and four vignette groups competing for bragging rights and a guaranteed invitation to next year’s show. Imagine Nation took top skit honors and musical group Shy of Dozen was selected as top vignette.

The team Making the Band said they drew their inspiration from a source that had never failed to entertain them – ’90s television.

The team based their skit loosely on the summer intern season of adolescent staple “Saved by the Bell.”

“‘Saved by the Bell’ was on TV for eight seasons – that has to mean something,” said Micah Monroe, junior in health and human performance.

Making the Band told the story of a girl trying to gain the confidence of her father, a beachside resort owner.

With the help of a novelty-sized cell phone and a crew of friends, she transforms defunct cover band “Cuisinart” into rock ‘n’ roll heroes just in time to play for the Fourth of July.

TV was also an influence in Battle for the Biggest. The show focused on an “Amazing Race”-style competition, in which teams scramble to find the world’s biggest novelty items.

Stops included the world’s largest yo-yo, ball of twine and Rice Crispy Bar. The winner of the competition was awarded with what may be the world’s biggest let-down – a secret grand prize which turns out to be tickets to a John Tesh concert.

Group members said the story and questionable “grand” prize are the product of a series of meetings.

“We didn’t want to do Chuck Norris, but we wanted to think of someone who was just as much of a tool,” said Kysa Kohlscheen, junior in elementary education.

Childhood stories were at the center of winning skit Imagine Nation.

The show fused fairy tales and children’s rhymes with ’80s arena rock to create something akin to a Disney classic with a soundtrack provided by VH1 retro. The “Bad Man” seized control of Fairy Tale Land and only the displaced heroine could liberate its inhabitants.

Trombone sextet Guido and the Gamblers demonstrated the versatility of the instrument. With intricate multi-part arrangements, they played remarkably authentic versions of songs varying from techno beats to the “James Bond Theme” and Britney Spears’ “Toxic.” Their fashion coordination was as varied as their set list. Stage attire included a formal suite coat and ’80s hair metal-style patterned spandex pants.

Vignette winner Shy of a Dozen also chose to create music with a single instrument – its voices. The a cappella group is formed by 11 members of the ISU Statesmen Choir. Members said having no instrumental accompaniment makes their music different in a number of ways, including the possibility of a command performance.

“If somebody asks us, ‘Hey, do a song,’ we can do that,” said Ben Johansen, senior in environmental science.

The group has a classic for every audience. They perform music from Metallica and the Beatles, as well as the Super Mario Bros. theme song.

“When they first listen, a lot of people don’t realize we don’t have instruments,” said Matt Rector, junior in forestry. “We do a lot of our own vocal percussion and things like that.”

Participants said being chosen for sweepstakes brings a heightened sense of excitement and enthusiasm to the performance. For skit groups, sweepstakes is more than a chance to receive top honors – it is two more chances to showcase the fruit of months of late nights and rehearsal sessions.

“Everyone is always really surprised,” said Ryan Boeding, senior in marketing and member of the Making the Band team. “They are like, ‘I miss practice.'”

For seniors participating in their final show, the last time on stage does not mean coming to their last Varieties.

“This time of year will come around, and I will be talking to these guys. I will have to come around and watch, if just to see what they came up with,” Boeding said.