Train

“For Me, It’s You” (Columbia)

Compare to: Five For Fighting, random VH1 band X

REVIEW: 2 / 5

In short: Remember that song you heard on easy-listening radio on your way to work? The one that almost caused you to doze off into the steering wheel and oncoming traffic? Well, here’s the full CD!

When Drops of Jupiter” hit the radio stations like the actual planet crashing into Earth, it was the kind of unavoidable – excuse me, train wreck – that is immediately gobbled up by 40-something soccer moms and the kind of girls looking to be whisked away by a man on a stallion and made sweet love to. My overall opinion: ick.

As time has passed, the saccharine sweetness of Train’s 45-minute-plus follow-up of solid “ballad rock” is somewhat more stomachable. I questioned whether I lost my testicles in a terrible CD listening accident, but it turns out that Train, although contrived and sappy, is pleasant. Like a warm summer rain. Or a bicycle ride in April.

To try to convince the type of person who listens to this kind of music that the album isn’t dynamic enough for something released in this day and age is the equivalent of trying to tell Hawthorne Heights to go die in a fire. You want them to, but they’re just not going to listen. Someday?

So the next time you’re listening to Train on “Live with Regis and Kelly” and just got done painting your toenails, consider taking a mid-afternoon walk to pick up Train’s latest, then perhaps treating yourself to a warm bubble bath full of Bath and Body Works salts and oils. The excitement must be killing you.

-Rob Lombardi