We all know Vanilla Ice, whose real name is Rob Van Winkle, is “too cold, too cold” to get ahold of.

Nonetheless, we at Pulse were ready for another random celebrity interview. As it turned out, the ice man was having a concert in Clive, but we didn’t get the interview in time to run before the show. Still, anyone who is curious what “V” is up to now should read on to answer the burning questions about Vanilla Ice.

Kevin Stillman: What parts of your old image were you in control of and what was a fabrication?

Vanilla Ice: That’s the thing, back in the day I wasn’t in control of much of anything. You have to understand I was only 16 years old. I was broke as f—k. I couldn’t come up with my rent payment or my car payment – I was behind on everything. I signed to a major label after I sold 48,000 copies on an independent label. All the sudden I had wardrobe people, stylist people, these publicists – all these people creating stories about me. To a young kid it’s like, whoa, you know they must know what they are doing. They’re paying me real well so I’m gonna do whatever they tell me. I would lick my mothers butt hole if they wanted me to. It’s like what Ron Jeremy told me: We are who we are because of who we were. I am happy with who I am today.

KS: That must have been frustrating considering, by yourself, you had already sold 48,000 albums.

VI: Yep, I sold 48,000 on the independent and I was like, wow, you know, that’s great. Like I said, I didn’t know too much about the business then, but I knew that I could flow. That thing blew up. It went gold every year since then. Last year it went gold. The kids that come to my shows now, they are like 16 to 25. Seriously, “Ice Ice Baby” was like 15 years ago – these kids were like one [year old], they don’t know. They’re the body-piercing tattoo kids, you know. We can’t pick our crowd, they pick us. They’re into “Ice Ice Baby,” but they’re more into the hard-core stuff I think. I just got back from Russia. I played Estonia, I played all the Baltic region, London in England. Every show sold out like the old days. I was blown away, dude. I introduced all my new sound and they loved it.

KS: I think people about my age remember you best in “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze.” What was that like – do you still hear that?

VI: Dude, I hear about that all the time. I hear about that so much over the past couple of years that I did a remake on my new album called “Ninja Rap 2.” I played recently where I filmed the movie. It was amazing because I had a ton of people who showed up in their green “Secret of the Ooze” shirts and shit. They yelled at the shows man, “Go ninja, go ninja, go.”

KS: Do your old fans come to your shows or is it a new crowd?

VI: Definitely, definitely not my old fans. In fact, there are always a few of them that come out. You can always see them because they are the ones in the back. I have this like, subculture following, they come to every f—king show. I start to know them on first-name basis. They drive five, six, seven, eight hundred miles to come to my shows.

KS: When you meet people now, are they expecting your 90s persona?

VI: I think they have caught up to what I am doing. Now and then I will run into those people who know no more than “Ice Ice Baby” and the pompadour hairdo or some shit like that, you know. I am like ‘Uhh, no.’ What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.

KS: That doesn’t bother you as much now when it happens?

VI: I used to be angry. I used to be angry at myself. I hated on myself. I hated the image, I hated the gimmicks. I hated how I had been treated. I hated the world. Then I stopped in my tracks after talking to a few people, like Ron Jeremy. I went through thousands of dollars worth of therapy, as well, and it works. I am f—king happy today. I am not trying to be who I was. I don’t even want to go back to those days, bro. Believe me, I tried to kill myself because of everything that happened. I am much happier with who I am today than who I was yesterday.

KS: You only have four shows posted on your Web site for 2006. Are there more shows that will be coming?

VI: Yeah, totally, I got tons of shows. The reason they’re not up there right now is because I am going on “Surreal Life Fame Games.” I have a cartoon I am doing for Adult Swim called “Bucky and Pancho’s Great Adventure.” I am also playing Vanilla Christ on “Family Guy.” I’ll be Vanilla Christ singing “Christ Christ Baby,” so that is going to be funny. I have been doing a lot of studio stuff, but the shows are definitely going to be there.

KS: People always say the bass line from Queen’s “Under Pressure” is the exact same line from “Ice Ice Baby.”

VI: Well, it is. It is the exact same one; that’s why I paid them $4 million. Are you talking about that interview I did like a million years ago that I was like saying, “Mine goes ‘ding ding ding dingy ding dink,’ and theirs goes ‘ding ding ding, ding ding?'” No, dude, that was a joke. That was a laugh and a joke. Yeah, I paid them. I sampled that song straight out. That’s why when you read the credits on “Ice Ice Baby” now it says Freddie Mercury and David Bowie, because they’re on there.

KS: Any words to our mothers?

VI: Words to your mothers? That’s funny, I don’t even know how to answer that. I don’t have any words to anybody’s mothers. Word to your mother, it doesn’t mean “word to your mother.” Word to your mother really came from Africa. It means respect to the mother land, to Africa. When I did it I said “word to your mother.” I meant respect to your mother. You should always give your mother respect no matter what. That’s what that point is.