As we embark on another glorious two weeks of couch-sitting, potato chip-eating and football-watching that defines bowl season, I have a few gripes I’d like to get out there.

I long for a good, old-fashioned Copper Bowl, but no, it became the Insight.com Bowl. Or, I guess Insight Bowl as it is now.

Oh, Citrus Bowl, how I miss you. Thanks a lot Capital One. Even the Aloha Bowl has been replaced by the generic Hawaii Bowl.

Thankfully, as Iowa State prepares to travel to Houston for the EV1.net Houston Bowl, the bowl committee saw fit two years ago that “Galleryfurniture.com Bowl” is a terrible name.

EV1.net remains on the front, so I’m going to lay down a few rules and hope the bowl committees take note.

Rule No. 1 – No more “.com” bowls (or .net). Insight.com, MicronPC.com and Galleryfurniture.com have all gone by the wayside. Let’s keep it that way.

Rule No. 2 – No more “town” bowls. Sorry Houston, New Orleans, Las Vegas and Fort Worth; please, invest some of the revenue you get into some creativity. This also includes you, San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl.

Rule No. 3 – No more brand-name bowls. There’s a long list for this one: Capital One Bowl, MPC Computers Bowl, Champs Sports Bowl, GMAC Bowl (I don’t even know what that is or if it’s a brand, but it’s too stupid to pass up) and the Meineke Car Care Bowl. I think Orlando, Fla., is a little more well-known for citrus fruits than Capital One cards. Reinstate the Citrus Bowl. The Outback Bowl is the one near exception to this rule, as it sounds somewhat natural, but until the game is actually played in Australia, or instead of a trophy they play for one gigantic and delicious Bloomin’ Onion, it’s back to being the Hall of Fame Bowl.

Finally, Rule No. 4 – No more “sponsored” bowls. It’s true that the bowls have to make money with sponsors, but great bowl names like the Alamo, Holiday, Sun, Fiesta and Orange are ruined by having to be the Pacific Life Holiday Bowl and the AutoZone Liberty Bowl or Chick-fil-A Peach Bowl. Sponsors can easily be tagged on the end of the name. That guy who does the voice-overs coming back from commercials can say, “The Alamo Bowl, brought to you by Mastercard. For everything money can’t buy, there’s Mastercard.” Then they can bombard us with commercial after commercial; we’ll know who’s sponsoring the game.

Plus, how did anyone ever get psyched to play in the Pulon Weedeater Independence Bowl? Or my personal favorite and current bowl, the Gaylord Hotels Music City Bowl. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions on Gaylord Hotels, but I always knew there was a reason the Minnesota Golden Gophers play in the Music City Bowl every year.

– Brett McIntyre is a sophomore in pre-journalism and mass communication and meteorology from Fort Dodge.