You’ve finally slept off that brain-draining hangover you gave yourself after you polished off that entire gallon of Jim Beam two weeks ago when the Cyclones lost in overtime to Kansas, right?

Well, mighty warrior of Cy – prepare yourself for one more whiskey binge, because, as fate would have it, we’re still going to Houston. Grab all the red and gold clothing you can, fill up the gas tank, strap on your six-shooters, collect from everyone who owes you money and hit the road. Mapquest tells you it’s 1,024.72 miles to Houston, but your liver reminds you that it’s only the next place to hit the bars.

Houston, like Texas, is one hell of a big place. So here are a few suggestions for places to check out or hang out before and after the big game.

OK, let’s not waste time here. The Lone Star State has a reputation for being two things: 1) full of moronic cowboys and 2) a state that likes to drink. Although point one proves itself in the form of the TCU team destined for total annihilation at the hands of the Cyclones, you’re going to have prove the second yourself.

The first place to check out on your dusty-trail bar crawl is Goode’s Armadillo Palace, 5015 Kirby Drive. Voted by the Houston Press as the “Best Reminder that Houston is Still in Texas” in 2005, Goode’s seems like the ultimate change of pace from say, Phuel. Complete with pistol grip door handles and saddles converted to bar stools, there is no justification for denying yourself a little sarsaparilla at this slice of Texan reality after the 15-hour drive. As you approach the restaurant, you’ll be greeted by a giant, stainless-steel, smoke-breathing armadillo, so head on inside and check out one of their house specialties that run the gamut from beef to, well, beef. If you run into any TCU fans, just remember to challenge them to pistols at dawn and shoot to kill.

If you’re looking for a more subtle Texas-style waterin’ hole, you may want to try Alice’s Tall Texan, 4904 N. Main St. Alice’s is the kind of dive where a stranger can get a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass to erase the pains of life, or the place where friends can get together and see the side of the Houston bar scene that shies away from the allure of the tourist’s dollar. Make sure to order a $1.50 draft that is served in a frosty, fishbowl-sized mug. Oh, and to make sure you don’t get any comforts of your Midwestern home, Alice’s has made sure you won’t be ordering any Bud Light draws, since they only have two beers on tap – Lone Star and Shiner.

If mystery beer isn’t your thing, you may prefer the desirable burn of a mixed drink straight from hell. In that realm, nothing can cure the sting of a loss or enhance the euphoria of victory like a good Bloody Mary. If the bleeding lady is your fancy, head over to Griff’s, 3416 Roseland St., and enjoy a Bloody Mary you’re almost guaranteed to like. Why? Because a Griff’s Sunday Bloody Sunday is a revolution in Bloody Mary technology: They simply pour some top shelf over ice and direct you to the Bloody Mary bar where you customize your very own memory-corroding drink. How wonderful.

As you begin to wander off into the territory that accompanies a night of heavy drinking – you know, the one you don’t remember but all your friends do and usually involves you doing something that guarantees you’ll never be a career politician – you might want to mellow out with a late-night treat. Or what your sloppy, drunken ass will probably be calling “drunk munchies.”

For a good, after-bedtime caloriefest, head over to Stag’s Head Pub, 2128 Portsmouth St., where you can enjoy all the familiar delights of hamburgers, nachos, stuffed jalapenos, chicken wings, sandwiches or even a delicious, meatless veggie burger.

Of course, road trips and football aren’t synonymous with alcohol-induced amnesia for everyone. Houston has plenty of culinary delights to enjoy for the football fan who likes to know where they are when they wake up in the morning. In this category, there is no other restaurant that is brimming with Lone Star character like Burns Bar BQ, 8397 De Priest St. If you’re hungry for grilled meat that’s as Texan as the Alamo, head over to Burns and stand in the line of like-minded carnivores waiting for the city’s best ribs. They’re fire-scorched, covered in sauce, smoke scented and would make Paula Dean beg for more. Or, if you really want to go all-out Texan, try some of the brisket that is notorious for falling apart before it even reaches the lips.

Of course, you could have developed an affinity for the slaughter-bound cattle that line both sides of the highway when entering the state and decide that meat really isn’t your thing. In that case, check out the Raw Truth Cafe, 3815 Live Oak St., for a menu of vegan and vegetarian dishes that might convert even the most flesh hungry football fan. The dish that might do it? The veggie burger, which was voted PETA’s 2005 best veggie burger in North America.

Bars and restaurants aside, if there is one place outside of these establishments sports fans can gather to talk stats or one-up each other with tales of their own high school glory days spent on the blood-soaked gridiron, it’s an old fashioned pool hall. Slick Willie’s Family Pool Hall, 560 Texas St., might be just the place. Outfitted with 14 8-foot pool tables, classic arcade games, air hockey, darts and TVs, Slick Willie’s may be just the place to find other ISU fans, heckle the TCU supporters or win some money for the gas tank the way Paul Newman would.

No matter what you do in Houston, it’ll probably be fun. Just remember to be daring and take in all Texas offers that Ames doesn’t, and enjoy Texas’s favorite pastime next to gunfights and bank heists – football.