Next Thursday everyone will be chomping on their turkeys. If you eat ham or some other main course, I apologize, but turkey is clearly superior.

Anyway, here is the debut of the B.L.U.M. – the “Bowl Logic Under Mastery.” I will discuss with uncanny accuracy the likelihood of Iowa State’s, and thus your, bowl travels next month. All ratings are on a 10-point scale of probability.

Holiday Bowl – 3.5

The Holiday Bowl is still within the realm of logical possibility. Here is what Iowa State would need to happen: A win over Kansas for one, coupled with Oklahoma winning out. This slides the Sooners up to the Cotton Bowl. Texas Tech’s attractiveness to the Holiday Bowl falls to second-marriage Britney Spears level, as they were in San Diego last year and would limp to an 8-3 finish, losing 3 of 5. So no chance they return to LT’s lair.

Iowa State must duel with Colorado for the bid, but the Cyclones travel with more ferocity and beat the Buffs last week, so I think Iowa State wins that battle. Likely opponent would be Oregon or UCLA. Who would be against cruising around SoCal saying, “You stay classy San Diego,” or “Discovered by Germans in 1904, they named it San Diego, which of course in German means … “? On second thought, don’t do that.

Alamo Bowl – 1.4

My informal poll indicates a large portion of the Cyclone nation wants to go to San Antonio for the Alamo Bowl. The opponent would be Michigan or Wisconsin. It seems like a good fit, but it’s not going to happen.

For whatever reason, the Alamo Bowl will choose Texas Tech or Oklahoma, whichever one is still available. The Hawkeyes may end up here, however, just to spite the Cyclones. I have one thing to say to that: 23 to 3.

Independence Bowl – 0.1

If the Cyclones return to Shreveport, there will be some unhappy people. Although the Independence Bowl has first choice ahead of the Houston Bowl, taking Iowa State for the third time in five years isn’t good for any of the parties involved. The opponent would be Tennessee or Florida. The Indy bowl is like that ex-boyfriend or girlfriend that you continue to get back with. Yes, they’re comfortable and fun for the first couple hours, but soon you realize it’s the same as it was last time. I like the Indy bowl, maybe we can hang out sometime, but we’re just friends.

Houston Bowl – 5.0

Chances the Cyclones end up in Yao Ming and David Carr’s neighborhood are 50-50. H-Town wanted the Cyclones last year, but the Independence Bowl pounced on the ‘Clones like trendy folk pounced on the show “Nip/Tuck.” No way Iowa State gets passed up by the fourth largest city in the United States. TCU is the likely opponent, however. New Year’s Eve in Houston? Maybe I can party with Jeff Bagwell’s arthritic right shoulder.

Fiesta Bowl – 0.1

Iowa State beats Texas in the Big 12 Championship, books a flight for Phoenix and plays Notre Dame. It’s the turkey talking.

– Brent Blum is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.