Before we begin another week of football, props go out to Eric Laffey who correctly knew last week’s trivia question.

Southeast Polk High School’s nickname of the “RAMS” stands for Runnells Altoona Mitchelville Schools (the three towns that combined to form Southeast Polk). He gets the 10 bonus points, plus another five for the mention of SE Polk grad and Chicago Bears quarterback Kyle Orton.

I apologize for last week’s picks because, well, they sucked. It really wasn’t my fault though, I was distracted at the time.

I was fielding several phone calls from panicked Fiesta Bowl officials who were terrified they might be forced into selecting Northwestern as the Big 10 champion.

I don’t think I helped matters when I told them West Virginia is leading the Big East as well.

Oklahoma and Oklahoma State do not play this week, so the picks are running a little light this week.

Brett was awful last week at 3-3, making his record 50-16 (.758) on the year.

NEBRASKA 5-3 (2-3) AT KANSAS 4-4 (1-4)

Last week: Nebraska lost to Oklahoma 31-24; Kansas beat Missouri 13-3.

Nebraska comes into this game riding a three-game losing streak after starting the season 5-0. Kansas snapped a four-game skid last week thanks to the complete incompetence of Gary Pinkel and lack of consistency from Missouri.

Please, don’t let your children watch this game. It’s going to be ugly. Maybe 11-5 or 9-2 or something ridiculous like that. V-Chips everywhere will broadcast this game as TV-MA.

Nebraska’s offense has gone back into the tank and Kansas just doesn’t have an offense – period.

That said, the Fighting Manginos do have a tough, physical defense that may be enough to fluster the Husker offense enough to squeak out a victory.

Kansas absolutely needs this game to keep slim bowl hopes alive since they close the year with a road date at Texas and a home game with Iowa State.

THE PICK: KANSAS

KANSAS STATE 4-4 (1-4) AT IOWA STATE 5-3 (2-3)

Last week: Kansas State lost to Colorado 23-20; Iowa State won at Texas A&M 42-14.

Kansas State is a team that I still haven’t gotten a real good read on. The Wildcats don’t seem to do anything particularly well looking at their stats, but they aren’t terrible either.

K-State has lost their last two games by a combined total of five points, so they’re hanging around.

The Cyclones’ offense literally blew up at A&M last week in a way nobody saw coming, scoring touchdowns with ease.

Now, yes, the Aggie pass defense isn’t something to write home to mommy about, but still. The Cyclones completely dominated the Aggies.

The return of Stevie Hicks helped, plus the fact Todd Blythe caught about eight touchdowns with one hand, while doing somersaults, leaping over defenders and juggling flaming knives.

Bret Meyer was throwing the football all over the field and the ISU defense dominated as they have pretty much all season.

Cyclones by 14.

THE PICK: IOWA STATE

MISSOURI 5-3 (3-2) AT NO. 25 COLORADO 6-2 (4-1)

Last week: Missouri lost at Kansas 13-3; Colorado won at Kansas State 23-20.

Gary Pinkel, coach of the Missouri Tigers, has kind of been my whipping boy this year. I planned on ruthlessly tearing into Texas’ Mack Brown, but he has seemed to figure out that he can’t coach and is letting Vince Young do everything.

Pinkel on the other hand, well … we won’t go there.

The Tigers could be so good, but then they lose to New Mexico – at home.

They destroy Nebraska, and turn around and lose to Kansas. My advice to Pinkel, enjoy your final trip to scenic Boulder before you get canned.

Colorado will be playing at home and can clinch at least a share of the North with a victory over the Tigers, and they will do just that.

THE PICK: COLORADO

NO. 2 TEXAS 8-0 (5-0) AT BAYLOR 4-4 (1-4)

Last week: Texas won at Oklahoma State 47-28; Baylor lost to Texas Tech 28-0.

The Longhorns struggled to beat Oklahoma State for the second time in as many years trailing 28-9 in the last minute of the first half.

Unfortunately for the Cowboys, the ‘Horns defense woke up in the second half as Okie State was unable to score.

Meanwhile, Vince Young ran absolutely wild. And I mean 267 yards wild. He threw for 239, giving him 506 yards of total offense just for himself. The entire team had 606, so without Young, the Longhorns had just 100 yards of offense.

All I have to say is Heisman.

The scare at Oklahoma State took all hope away from Baylor’s attempt at an ambush as the Longhorns will come in focused and will try to put away the Bears early.

Baylor was able to keep the Texas Tech high-octane offense under wraps for most of the game, but I doubt they will even be able to stop Vince Young for more than a quarter.

But still, for all you Bears fans out there, don’t give up hope for a bowl just yet.

Baylor closes with a Missouri team that is always looking to underachieve more than they did the previous game. Oklahoma State isn’t really very good despite their showing against Texas.

THE PICK: TEXAS

TEXAS A&M 5-3 (3-2) AT NO. 16 TEXAS TECH 7-1 (4-1)

Last week: Texas A&M lost to Iowa State 42-14; Texas Tech won at Baylor 28-0.

I don’t even know where to begin with this one. Texas A&M fans may not even want to bother with tuning into this one.

If the Aggies thought their passing defense looked bad last week against Iowa State, wait until Cody Hodges and the Texas Tech passing machine gets through ripping them up and down the field for four quarters.

Hodges could throw for 700 yards in this one and really beat down A&M. Now, will it be as bad as that time last year when Texas Tech beat Nebraska 70-10? Only time will tell.

A&M’s only hope is to not even bother playing defense. Reggie McNeal is going to need the game of his life to pull this one out for the Aggies.

If McNeal can take advantage of a ho-hum Texas Tech offense, this game could be pretty entertaining offensively, but only for a while.

If both teams score over 50 points then maybe the Aggies have a chance, but I don’t think even Reggie McNeal can make up for the complete incompetence the A&M passing game will show on Saturday.

Red Raiders win and score at least 65.

THE PICK: TEXAS TECH

And now it’s time for the “NCAA Investigation of the Week.”

While I was watching the Iowa State game this weekend against Texas A&M, I noticed something. I’m not sure that it was actually Todd Blythe, Bret Meyer and Stevie Hicks playing for the Cyclones last week.

I think that maybe Jerry Rice, Joe Montana, and Troy Davis possibly dressed up as Blythe, Hicks and Meyer for Halloween.

But the big question is, how do Rice, Montana and Davis have any eligibility left, and what did Dan McCarney do with the real Bret Meyer, Todd Blythe and Stevie Hicks?

I’m going to request that the NCAA launch an investigation into this clear violation of multiple rules. If, of course, the football team doesn’t get to me first for insulting their talents.