I’m back this week after taking last week off to sip Mai Tais and get fanned with palm leaves on the sandy beaches of Lincoln Way.

For the first time this semester, I produced a list that has no mention of Led Zeppelin or the Who. Rejoice! Frank Zappa, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, NOFX and Mos Def make it in the top 10 for the first time, though.

The list this week is the best album titles. It’s very difficult to say what makes a good album title and what makes a bad album title; there are really no criteria for it. It usually comes down to personal taste, which is why this is the most subjective list I’ve done (and that’s really subjective). Creativity goes a long way, however, as does an interesting story behind the naming of the album. Simply identifying albums by colors won’t do (sorry, Weezer) and numbering albums certainly isn’t good enough (sorry, Led Zeppelin). Crap – I wasn’t supposed to mention them.

1. “White People,” Handsome Boy Modeling School

OK, so it may or may not be vague racism thinly disguised as comedy. And the Strokes or U2 or Lionel Richie or any other stereotypically white band could never get away with an album called “Black People.” But who cares – this is one of the best hip-hop albums in a long time with by far the best name.

2. “Some Girls,” the Rolling Stones

When asked why the band named its album “Some Girls,” Keith Richards replied, “Cause we couldn’t remember any of their names.” Much controversy surrounded the album cover, which featured pictures of female celebrities pasted over the faces of girls in lingerie ads. After Lucille Ball and Raquel Welch threatened legal action, the cover was reissued with blank faces replacing those of the celebrities. Too bad the Stones didn’t use pictures of the cast of “Golden Girls ” – I’m sure Estelle Getty looks phenomenal in a lace-trim babydoll nightie.

3. “We’re Only in it for Money,” Frank Zappa

Pretty much every Frank Zappa album had a great title (“Shut Up and Play Your Guitar,” “Just Another Band from L.A.,” “Cocaine Decisions,” etc.), but this one is especially good. Released in 1968, it foreshadowed what the music industry would become. This album also has one of the best song titles ever – “Hot Poop.”

4. “Punk in Drublic,” NOFX

NOFX is another band that has an uncanny knack for great album titles. “S&M Airlines,” “Heavy Petting Zoo,” “White Trash, Two Heebs and a Bean” and “Pump Up the Valuum” could have all been on the list. Even the band’s compilation album has a great title – “The Greatest Songs Ever Written (By Us).”

5. “Californication,” Red Hot Chili Peppers

I didn’t even know what the name of this album meant when I bought it, but I knew I liked it. When I found out what it meant, I liked it even more.

6. “Never Mind the Bollocks, Here’s the Sex Pistols,” the Sex Pistols

This album was pretty much saying, “Forget everything else. The only thing you need to know is this band.” The Sex Pistols made one hell of a statement with its first (and, officially, only) record, spawning – and essentially ending, at least in the Sex Pistols’ nihilistic sense – the punk-rock revolution.

7. “Rubber Soul,” the Beatles

As a general rule, the titles of Beatles’ albums aren’t very good. But “Rubber Soul” is a huge exception. It marked the transition from teenager-in-love pop-rock to more experimental, meaningful music, but it isn’t the best Beatles album. It isn’t the most well-known album. It is probably the most unappreciated, underrated of all of the band’s records. And it was still No. 1 for six weeks.

8. “Doggystyle,” Snoop Dogg

This was one of the best albums to come out of the peak of gangsta rap, when Snoop Dogg was rolling with the Crips, being charged with murder, watching Suge Knight dangle Vanilla Ice off of a high-rise balcony and releasing the first debut album to enter the Billboard chart at No. 1.

9. “Blonde on Blonde,” Bob Dylan

The title of Bob Dylan’s best album is wide open to interpretation, but one thing is for sure – it’s great.

10. “Black on Both Sides,” Mos Def

Mos Def is duking it out with Common and Talib Kweli (with whom he formed Black Star) for the title of best rapper since Shaquille O’Neal. With 1999’s “Black on Both Sides” and 2004’s “The New Danger,” on which Def brings rock ‘n’ roll back to hip-hop, it appears as though he is winning the battle. The 1985 Chicago Bears would have easily won with their “Super Bowl Shuffle,” but they came long before Shaq.

Runners-up

“Bitches Brew,” Miles Davis; “Cheap Thrills,” Janis Joplin; “Your Pretty Face is Going to Hell,” Iggy and the Stooges; “It Takes a Nation of Millions to Hold Us Back,” Public Enemy; “Enema of the State,” Blink 182; “Cultosaurus Erectus,” Blue Oyster Cult; “The Sounds of Silence,” Simon and Garfunkel; “Dark Side of the Moon,” Pink Floyd; “Captain Fantastic and the Brown Dirt Cowboy,” Elton John