Here’s something true.

(Hey mom! Stop reading now!)

I haven’t been to a full week of classes since I was a freshman.

I am living proof that going to class is secondary to success at school. Granted, I’m a journalism major – an engineer couldn’t do what I do – but oh well, I don’t feel bad about it. I clock in about four hours of solid class a week and work at the Daily. It could be a lot worse.

I would say the most important thing I’ve learned in my almost three years at this fine institution is how to avoid going to class and still get by with a 3.0 GPA.

Let’s start with a clean slate and set the record straight. I’m not a genius by any means. Back in the golden days of high school, I applied to a wealth of wonderful educational institutions and got into, well, this one.

To top that off, let me drop this bomb on you – my high school GPA was a hard-earned 2.0 and I did graduate in the prestigious bottom quarter of my class.

OK, so you know what I’m all about in terms of school: go, avoid, succeed.

I feel like we’ve reached that point in our lives where being a slacker of my caliber isn’t cool; it’s just lame, lazy and pathetic – but my lackluster attendance hasn’t hindered my ability to achieve.

Check out this nifty little job I’ve scored at the Daily, plus I’ve already had two internships – a video production company and a record label. I’ve got a lot to be proud of.

So what’s my point?

While all my good friends are buzzing around doing extra credit this and last minute that and fighting off the cardiac arrest they associate with a midterm, I’m relishing mine with pride.

Take my word for it, Iowa State – there is no academic hole that a straight night of reading in Parks Library can’t get you out of. The finals and papers are your grades; don’t worry about the first three months, it’s those last three weeks.

For you skeptics reading this, hear me out; there’s a logic in this. I manage to have more fun during a semester than most of you will ever know.

I’m not talking “fun” in the classic sense of sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll, either. No, most all my fun is had sober. Whether it’s just watching movies with different people, hanging out in a coffee shop or going to a concert, there’s always something to do with someone. Why waste our young years stuck behind books when we can get by without the work and have the memories?

You have to admit that no matter who you are, the best memories are when the books are at home, or if you’re like me, when the books are still at the book store.

OK, I just re-read what I’ve written so far and maybe there is no logic in this way of thinking and to read it in writing, it probably sounds like the dumbest idea ever.

So, if nothing else, take comfort in knowing that you are not me, and that you are going to get that fortune 500 job at the end of this and I’ll probably live in some hippie commune taking drugs and writing propaganda.

OK, maybe not, but it’s gonna be glorious.

– Dante Sacomani is a junior in journalism and mass communication from St. Charles, Ill. He is the Pulse editor for the Daily.