Welcome back to my weekly picks column. We’ve reached the final week of crappy nonconference football, so after this week, we’ll really get to roll our sleeves up and get deep into actually analyzing games.

Until then, more jokes and sarcasm.

After a terrible week two weeks ago, I avoided the cliche hangover and rebounded nicely last week, so I’m in a good mood.

Plus Notre Dame lost and everyone should be happy about that.

Brett was 8-1 last weekend, moving his record for the season to 24-7.

TEXAS STATE (2-0) AT TEXAS A&M (1-1)

Last week: Texas State 34-0 win over Southern Utah; Texas A&M 66-8 win over SMU.

This is an intriguing matchup, mostly because I didn’t know there was a Texas State. How many teams are in Texas anyway? 54? 78? A&M, Tech, Texas Regular, SMU, Baylor, North Texas, TCU – where does it end? Does anyone actually know?

And here’s something else of interest, Texas also has powerhouses like Delta State, Northwestern State, and PANHANDLE STATE. I can’t even make this stuff up.

A&M’s goal here is to not have anyone get hurt.

THE PICK: TEXAS A&M

No. 22 IOWA STATE (2-0) AT ARMY (0-2)

Last week: Iowa State 23-3 win over No. 21 (Sept. 10); Army 20-10 loss to Baylor.

Iowa State got a week off to revel in its destruction of Iowa and should be ready for Army on Friday night, but this game won’t be a complete pushover. Iowa State’s first road test will be a tough one under the lights in one of the more dramatic settings in college football.

As long as the Cyclones don’t get sucked in by the atmosphere and let the Black Knights get confidence early (like they did with Illinois State) this should be a comfortable win. Army will hang around for a couple of quarters, but I don’t see the game being in doubt much past the first quarter.

THE PICK: IOWA STATE

UPSET WATCH: NORTH TEXAS (1-1) AT KANSAS STATE (2-0)

Last week: North Texas 54-2 loss to Tulsa; Kansas State 21-19 win at Marshall (Sept. 10).

North Texas has a stranglehold on the Sun Belt Conference – champions four times running – but never draw any attention nationally to themselves. That’s probably because they do things like lose by 52 points. To Tulsa. Not good.

Kansas State, on the other hand, isn’t very good either. Is Bill Synder too old to guarantee recruits that he’ll be around for their whole career? Could Synder be suffering from the ‘Hayden Fry Effect’ just as his mentor did eight years ago? Maybe, but it shouldn’t make enough of a difference in this game.

No way Kansas State loses at home to the Mean Green.

THE PICK: KANSAS STATE

LAUGHTER OF THE WEEK: INDIANA STATE (0-3) AT No. 19 TEXAS TECH (2-0)

Last week: Indiana State 27-15 loss at Murray State; Texas Tech 80-21 win over Sam Houston State

Well, what can you really say about this one? The Sycamores have already lost to such football powerhouses as Murray State, Saint Francis and Eastern Illinois.

Texas Tech has no problem running up the score as they hung 80 on Sam Houston State last week. That reminds me of last year. You know, the time when the Red Raiders put 70 on Nebraska? Good times.

THE PICK: TEXAS TECH

GAME OF THE WEEK: COLORADO (2-0) AT NO. 12 MIAMI (1-1)

Last week: Colorado 39-0 win over New Mexico State; Miami 36-30 win over Clemson (3OT)

This game will be closer than a lot of people think.

The Buffaloes survived their bitter rivalry game to start the season and then pounded New Mexico State.

Miami looked bad in a loss to Florida State, then blew a 10-point fourth-quarter lead and nearly lost to Clemson.

Buffaloes quarterback Joel Klatt has completed 69 percent of his passes and should keep Colorado in it, but the heat and humidity of South Florida will take its toll in the fourth quarter.

THE PICK: MIAMI