Last week, we chose the 10 best cover songs, which proved to be very difficult. Picking the 10 songs for this week’s worst-covers list, however, was surprisingly easy. For the most part, these songs aren’t only appallingly bad, it is shocking that the so-called musicians even attempted them. Pretty much the only thing these songs succeed at is making people want to lop their ears off so they don’t have to listen to them any more. After putting out these songs, these musical blasphemers should never be allowed near a microphone again.

1. “Behind Blue Eyes,” Limp Bizkit covering the Who

Hey, Fred Durst: If you can’t even correctly duplicate the word “biscuit,” you probably shouldn’t attempt to duplicate a signature songs of one of the greatest rock bands the world has ever seen.

2. “Imagine,” A Perfect Circle covering John Lennon

Words almost cannot describe how terrible this song is. A Perfect Circle took probably the most lyrically beautiful song ever written and turned it into something that sounds like an off-key chant at a pagan sacrifice. We would rather listen to Sinbad do eight hours of stand-up while Camryn Manheim gives us a lap dance than hear the name of this abysmal band mentioned ever again.

3. “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll,” Britney Spears covering Joan Jett covering the Arrows

When asked why she covered (read: butchered) this particular song, America’s favorite piece of white trash told an interviewer, because “I’ve always loved Pat Benatar.” We’re sure Benatar appreciates your support, Brit – too bad Joan Jett did “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll.”

4. “Stairway to Heaven,” Dolly Parton covering Led Zeppelin

This is the perfect example of a cover that is absolutely astonishing that it was even attempted. Unless you actually hear it with your own ears, it’s nearly impossible to believe it could even exist. Perhaps Dolly should stick to what she does best – twangy country music, having physics-defying breasts and running low-budget theme parks in Tennessee.

5. “Satisfaction,” Britney Spears covering the Rolling Stones

Yep. Two Britney songs in the top five. Maybe she should take this as a sign – although her own music is horrific, she’s better off doing that than covering actual musicians, which only shines the spotlight on how little talent she actually has.

6. “911 is a Joke,” Duran Duran covering Public Enemy

Something about this scenario doesn’t seem right: Five affluent white guys from England decide to do a cover of Public Enemy’s seminal rap about apathy from authority figures toward the suffering of inner-city black people. It’s not the utter lack of empathy and understanding Duran Duran shows that bothers us about this song, so much as the fact that lead singer Simon LeBon at no point during the recording of this song had any type of large timepiece hanging around his neck, nor did he ever drink from a golden chalice. We bet Flavor Flav is rolling over in his grave. Wait, is he dead?

7. “American Pie,” Madonna covering Don McLean

Don McLean wrote this song about the 1959 plane crash that killed Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and the Big Bopper, an event often referred to as “the day the music died.” That February day in ’59 may not have been the day all music died, but Madonna killed whatever was left of it when she covered “American Pie.”

8. “My Generation,” Hilary Duff covering the Who

The lyrics of this song, basic as they may be, captured the “screw you, authority” attitude of the ’60s. Hilary Duff covering this song perfectly captures the whiny, Avril Lavigne-like attitude of pop princesses wishing they had something real to complain about.

9. “Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door,” every musician ever covering Bob Dylan

Is there a band that hasn’t done a version of this song? Everyone from Bon Jovi to Wyclef Jean to Guns ‘n’ Roses to Avril Lavigne has done their own rendition, and all of them have severely missed the mark. Even Eric Clapton was way off. Amazingly, Avril Lavigne’s isn’t the worst – Wyclef Jean’s is just laughable, and Bon Jovi’s sounds like Creed trying in vain to not suck.

10. “Take My Breath Away,” Jessica Simpson covering Berlin

This cover may or may not have been recorded at a karaoke bar. It sounds exactly like the original, and that made this choice a tough call. On the one hand, Simpson didn’t desecrate a great song like all the other people on this list did, because Berlin’s version isn’t very good either. But on the other hand, taking a crappy song and not being able to make it any better makes for an even crappier cover song.

Runners up

“Sweet Child o’ Mine,” Sheryl Crow covering Guns ‘n’ Roses; “Daydream Believer,” Anne Murray covering the Monkees; “While My Guitar Gently Weeps,” the Jeff Healy Band covering the Beatles; “Feel Like Making Love,” Kid Rock covering Bad Company; “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay,” Michael Bolton covering Otis Redding