It’s that wonderful time of the school year when there are still tons of fresh, optimistic faces heading to 100-level classes all across campus. Yes, it’s those wonderful freshmen.

As we all know, there are tons of places freshmen, and new students in general, can look to get informed about getting involved in campus groups and organizations. Well, we figured we’d offer our two cents to those who care.

If you are new and aren’t aware of the plethora of extracurricular activities Iowa State offers, ClubFest will be held in the Great Hall of the Memorial Union on Sept. 14. Want even more info? Check out the clubs online at sodb.stuorg.iastate.edu.

Our solution? Pick two groups on campus and go see what they’re all about, talk to a couple members and partake in the mayhem. Our finalists ended up being none other than Iowa State’s own realm of Belegarth Medieval Combat and the ISU Paintball Club, and oh, what fun it was.

Belegarth Medieval Combat

The Ames chapter, or realm, of Belegarth Medieval Combat is called Tir Asleen. President Matt Stephenson, known as Xipher, and his fellow combatants are a group of hospitable warriors who meet weekly to do battle using weapons forged of PVC pipe, foam, cloth and duct tape. The principal rules are simple – you get into teams of two, four or more and literally get medieval on the ass of anyone who gets in your way.

On the battlefield, a blow to a limb means the victim must act as if that limb is gone and either drop to one knee or go southpaw. Any shot to the back or the chest means curtains, and although they are discouraged, head shots are the same.

Dante’s thoughts:

I’d seen these guys out in front of the library a couple of times and was incredibly psyched to get out on the battlefield and test my warrior skills. I have to admit, right off the bat I didn’t count on them being as good as they were – the second we unsheathed our loaner weapons and stepped onto the battlefield, we were made into peasants by some of these pseudo-knights.

Even though we were the biggest embarrassments to the blade since Geena Davis in “Cutthroat Island,” the group members were really kind and inclusive.

Once I got some basic advice on how to hold a shield and how to manage a severed leg, I still sucked. But I managed to put a couple of foes in the dirt.

In the end I could have never imagined having as much fun as I did – the whole thing was so overwhelming, the care they had put into making the weapons and armor was really impressive. Not to mention how willing they were to turn a couple of Daily reporters into battle trophies – that was the best part.

Alex’s Thoughts:

Being the movie buff I am, I thought the 40 times I had seen “Braveheart” and the two times I had seen “The Karate Kid” would have sufficiently prepared me for some steel-wielding mortal combat – but I was wrong. Not only was I killed within five seconds of stepping onto the field, it was brought to my attention that I was not able to clear out a gang of five hoodlums like in my dreams.

Since my awakening to my utter suckiness with a blade, I have been studying under famous male ballerina Boris Nogrishinko. After he’s done with me, the only thing tighter than my sword skills will be the tights I’m wearing right now.

Paintball Club

A ripped up tennis court is where the ISU Paintball Club calls home. The group, which was formed about seven years ago, now meets to play on the grass field surrounded by chain link.

The group shows up hours before even playing to set up inflatable bunkers the players can duck behind to avoid being smeared by the high-velocity balls of paint. They also put nets up around their enclave to avoid hitting an unsuspecting civilian.

We found the rules of the paintball game similar to medieval battling – in short, kill or be killed. For students looking to get in on the action, all they need to do is join. The club has all the gear needed to get started.

Dante’s Thoughts:

I was really pumped about the medieval group – but I didn’t know what to expect from paintballing. I had never gotten hit with one before so I was a mix of nervous and excited. The guys at the field were really cool; they gave us a brief overview of the guns and let us mess with them a little bit. I wasn’t really concerned about the impending execution until I heard them firing off the guns. The sound alone was intimidating and the pain was an afterthought at this point. We decided the best thing do would be to stand up against a wall and just let the guys tear into us. It was one of those “sounded good at the time” type things, believe me. I definitely think standing there waiting to be painted bright pink was the most intense part. The inevitable smearing that ensued wasn’t so bad, I guess. I took one to the knuckle that made my tear glands swell, but I got off easy. I mean, Switzer got shot in the face.

Alex’s Thoughts:

All I could predict about joining the Paintball Club for a sunny, hung over, Sunday morning is that this crap was going to hurt. When I arrived at the paintball site with my fellow morons, all I could see was 20-plus ISU students who were good with a trigger – my fate was sealed. True to my predictions, it was only a matter of minutes before we were lined up like livestock in front of the “net of death” – the place where the I would soon meet my demise with a marble-sized bullet.

Yes, I am full of myself; however, when you find that you’re standing next to two other unfortunates who are about to be blown away, the humbling feeling of three men pointing guns at you makes your butthole pucker up.

If you have ideas or suggestions you would like to see us perform in WTF, please email us at [email protected].