Having spent most of my summer in front of a television, I noticed a pattern among the media. If you were stuck in a box, or perhaps working (like normal people do), let me summarize the coverage.

Rangers pitcher Kenny Rogers assaulted a cameraman and received a 20-game suspension. While in court for the incident, he stared down and threatened another cameraman.

Isn’t sending a cameraman to cover Rogers’ court appearance like sending a pipe to Ricky Williams or children to Michael Jackson? You’re just asking for trouble.

In other news, Rafael Palmeiro tested positive for steroids. During the ensuing coverage, Raffy tied Bill Clinton for most televised demonstrative finger wag in false pretense, Jose Canseco looked like a prophet and Donny Deutsch entered my “Must Turn the Channel Club,” where he joins Geraldo Rivera, Nancy Grace and any Gwen Stefani music video.

The final piece of the national news trifecta is that Terrell Owens is unhappy with his contract. In case you were wondering, T.O. showed the viewing audience he can do sit-ups with his shirt off in the presence of reporters, while listening to headphones and simultaneously answering, “No comment.” And you’re telling me he doesn’t deserve a raise?

The story of most immediate interest was of a certain defensive end returning to the Cyclone football team. If you don’t know who I’m talking about, you either spend way too much time in Atanasoff Hall or spend too much time watching “Laguna Beach.”

The thing is, I don’t want to know Jason Berryman’s every move. I realize it’s mildly compelling and semi-controversial. But, much like the Rogers, Palmeiro and Owens situations, the coverage has been ridiculously extensive. There are a lot more productive things to talk about regarding this football team.

Who will replace the leadership of Ellis Hobbs? Who will step up to fill out the offensive line? Does Todd Blythe realize his dominance in NCAA football video games? Heck, I would write about the flexibility of Tony Yelk’s hip, or the long-snapping ability of Landon Schrage instead of Berryman’s climb up the depth chart.

Let me save you two weeks of “front-page” news. Berryman will continue to impress in practice and he will split time with Cephus Johnson and Shawn Moorehead in the opener against Illinois State.

That’s all I’m going to say.

Now I’m going to watch some televised poker, because goodness knows it’s barely ever on.

On second thought, give me more “Laguna Beach.”

— Brent Blum is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Urbandale.