The year is 2050. After centuries of war and strife, the people of our planet have finally figured out that it is better to prosper together in peace than it is to fight among ourselves for limited resources on our planet. An international constitution has been drafted, allowing for a limited, but unifying, global government.

At this very time, a Gurgonian Cargo Cruiser makes a crash landing on what, up until now, had been an unknown planet. They send word back to their leaders, and a delegation is sent to our planet to establish diplomatic relations. When the delegation arrives, they state that they would like to develop treaties with us so that we may prosper together in peace.

“How shall we address you noble savages and what is the name of your planet?” asks the chief Gurgonian ambassador. Our global president, Sanjiv Gupta, replies, “You may call us Earthlings. Our planet is named after dirt and is called Earth.”

Earthlings? Named after dirt? Is that the best our global president could do after 100,000 years of Homo sapien evolution and inheritance of the genes of comet collision survivors and ice ages? The term “Earthling” is not very flattering. Sure it might be hot stuff on Gurgonia, but the “-ling” suffix is a throwback to 1950s Hollywood B-movies and is rather demeaning. I believe we can do better.

The Earth and the moon should be given their own proper names following the traditions of naming of the other planets and their moons. This makes sense even in the absence of visitors from an extra-planetary civilization.

According to the International Astronomical Union, planets are given the names of Roman gods and goddesses or, in the case of Uranus, a Greek god. Our planet should have a proper name also, in accordance with international convention.

The most appropriate choice for our planet’s name would be Tellus. Tellus was the Roman goddess of our planet, protector and developer of the sown seed.

Using this logic, we would no longer be “Earthlings,” but rather the sly and sexy-sounding Tellurians. Considering the name for our moon is rather generic as well; we could call it Luna, who was the Roman personification of the goddess of our only natural satellite. Future inhabitants of Luna would thereby be referred to as Lunarians, which surely beats Aqua Teen Hunger Force’s term, “Mooninite.”

It may seem like a trivial matter to us now, but all too often the little things are those that hold us back from great progress. The existence of civilizations outside of our planet is no more improbable than our own, and if we are to deal with these cultures in any cogent manner, we need proper terminology for ourselves and the place we call home.

Giving our planet a culturally universal name might also be the impetus that brings us closer together as humans in much the same way that all nations decided to officially set their years to 2000, in spite of its Christian origins, when that year came about in the western world.

Like it or not, we are all humans and eventually we are all going to realize that we are better off working together than working at odds with each other in much the same way as Catholics, Protestants, Jews, Gentiles, blacks, whites, Latinos, Anglos, Monotheists and Pagans have decided to work together as Americans and make the realm we know today the most powerful nation on the planet.

For us, as a species, the answer to our woes may be as simple as finding a common name for ourselves in the same way that so many people from different backgrounds found a common name for themselves as Americans.

Perhaps when we can all call ourselves Tellurians, we will breach that final hurdle of perceived separation and come to the realization that we are not many but one.