Roughly four months into Bush’s second term in office and we’re already bored. Social Security reform is going nowhere fast. The rest of the world still hates us. Iraq is not a flourishing democracy yet. The debate over changes to parliamentary procedures in the Senate has to be jazzed up with the word “nuclear” to get people to pay attention.

Despite the relative yawn-worthiness of the political news these days, newspapers still have to be published, pundits still have to prattle and columnists still have to opine.

Luckily, there is a fail-safe, default topic that is rarely unwelcome in the world of politics. Indeed, if two politically minded individuals are ever placed in a room together, they will inevitably begin “talking shop.” The topic: Who will be the next president?

For the Democrats, it’s an exercise in escapism. Unfortunately, most of the suspense is absent from the 2008 election cycle because the apparent nominee is Hillary Clinton. Everyone seems to know this except the nominee herself, who is focused solely on representing the people of New York — right?

But never fear, Iowa. Just because Clinton has sewn up the nomination nearly two years before your caucus does not mean you won’t get bombarded with phone calls, junk mail and TV ads. Many candidates will be “vying for second place” on the presidential ticket. Iowa will be the first stop in a nationwide male beauty pageant tour, complete with interview sessions, talent exhibitions and eveningwear competitions — with Sen. Clinton serving as the celebrity judge.

Of course, Hillary the presidential candidate is trying to distance herself from Hillary the first lady — the one who masterminded the failed national healthcare plan in her husband’s first term and who insulted cooking/baking mothers nationwide during the 1992 campaign. Determined not to go the way of Dean the Scream, she is moderating her language with regard to abortion, making joint appearances with Newt Gingrich, identifying herself with the liberal hawks on Iraq, and speaking positively about faith in the public square.

Yet the issue that has caused the most dread among Republicans is Clinton’s new “tough stance” on immigration. In an effort to capitalize on latent disgust with lax immigration policies, the Senator from New York is complaining about border security and document fraud. Recently, Clinton called for the creation of a border czar position for the U.S.-Canadian border, which she claims has been neglected. There is even talk of Clinton running to the right of the current administration on the immigration issue.

A lot of attention has recently been given to a comment Clinton made on WABC radio more than a year ago: “I am, you know, adamantly against illegal immigrants.” If a similar statement was uttered by any conservative, it would be offered as evidence of the speaker’s xenophobia. First, the object of wrath in the sentence is not simply the idea of illegal immigration, but the immigrants themselves. Also, the term, “illegal immigrants” is an improper term and is designed to malign them as

criminals; “undocumented workers” is the politically correct phrase. Finally, the adverb “adamantly” is superfluous to the sentence and must have been added for the sole purpose of stirring white-male rage.

Coming out against illegal immigration is hardly an act of political bravery. Nearly every politician is against illegal immigration — they just differ on whether they want less immigration overall or whether they want to channel immigration to legal methods.

Ironically, President Bush and Sen. Clinton both fall in the latter category, with Bush a major proponent of a guest worker program, and Clinton a co-sponsor of several bills that would grant amnesty to illegal workers.

Clinton the anti-immigration candidate is not a prospect to be feared by Republicans; her position would be too diluted by contradictions and caveats to placate a substantial number of immigration foes. More likely than not, expect a repeat of 2004, where neither party fielded a candidate who genuinely opposed illegal immigration