Perusing through the ISU Catalog is similar to watching the Cubs’ bullpen. They both can be summarized with laughter and disbelief.

If you ever need to kill a couple hours, check out some of the classes that are actually taught at this fine institution. Courses such as, “Advanced Insect Pest Management” and “History of Women in the Ancient Mediterranean World” are just a couple of the hundreds of immense educational opportunities at Iowa State.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure the history of women living across the globe a couple thousand years ago is deeply invigorating. One class, however, is conspicuously absent from the Mark Mangino sized ISU Catalog. Nowhere in the 400 pages will you discover a course dedicated to any realm of sports knowledge.

How is this possible? For crying out loud, there is actually a course titled, “Natural History and Ecology of Midwest Fishes.” So, we have the ability to learn about fish that migrate from Nebraska to Iowa, yet can’t study the much more valuable history of ISU football’s unprecedented upset over then No. 2 ranked Nebraska Cornhuskers in 1992?

You never know when this information will prove valuable. When interviewing at Pioneer they may ask, “Can you name the six former ISU Cyclones in the NBA?” If you rattle off the names Shirley, Fizer, Cato, Hoiberg, Tinsley and Vroman, by gosh, there’s no stopping your ability to identify hybrid seeds.

I know this valiant attempt at changing the university schedule of classes will fall flat on its face, much like Kellen Winslow’s ability to drive a motorcycle. But, maybe with a little luck, before I graduate I will receive an A+ in a class titled “History of Backup Right Fielders of the Cleveland Indians.”