Finally the end of this semester is around the corner. Although, the load only gets heavier before Finals Week, some students’ thoughts seem to wander into topics that have nothing to do with school.

This weekend, one of my friends, let’s say his name is David, decided to do an extensive research project on male/female relationships. He decided to put his hypothesis to the test through a qualitative research of the Latino men and their relationships with Latina women.

He based his hypothesis on general observations from one Sunday morning.

He argues that Latino men who are in relationships will only have one woman reprimanding them (mothers, sisters, and daughters not included).

To him, this Sunday was the perfect chance to investigate since a f£tbol (soccer) tournament, a parrillada (cook-out) and a cumplea¤os sorpresa (surprise birthday party) were happening on the same day and we assumed that most attendees would be Latinos and Latinas.

David formulated his hypothesis early on Sunday morning while two ladies and I were cooking food for the parrillada at his house. He attempted to help us in every way he could: cutting the onions and the green peppers, passing the cooking utensils or the olive oil, and by playing some great tunes from his iPod.

To his misfortune every time he did something wrong, each one of us would call on him:

“­David! Corta la cebolla m s peque¤a.” (Cut the onion in smaller pieces!), I would shout over the reggaeton that was playing from his iPod.

“­David, yo prefiero escuchar salsa!” (I’d rather listen to salsa!), Luisa would demand as she danced while making the salad.

“­David, noooo, eso no!” (Not that!), Cilia yelled when he handed her a plastic spoon instead of the wooden spoon she asked for to fry the rice.

My poor friend was struggling to keep up with all the estrogen that was flowing in the kitchen. But to David’s salvation, another guy came in. After being in the kitchen for some minutes, his girlfriend reprimanded him for saying and doing things that could not be published in this newspaper even if I wrote them in Spanish. I did not say anything, neither did my other friend, so David reflected on the situation.

The rest of the day he told every guy he would see “you know … the reason why men have a girlfriend or a wife — and only one — is so that only one woman can scold him.” Most of the guys that heard David’s hypothesis agreed immediately and told him that the theory had been properly researched.

My boyfriend took pride in being David’s research assistant. Together, they observed all the couples they encountered during the rest of the day and challenged women to prove them wrong.

At the cumplea¤os sorpresa, they presented their research to a bigger audience and included specific examples of the couples present at that house. One of the examples included a young man, let’s say his name is Cristian, and his wife, let’s call her Evelyn. The scolding happened right after Cristian poured too much soda into his cup and nearly spilled some on the floor. Evelyn reacted, but all the other women in the room only made faces.

The ladies in the room ended up accepting the gentlemen’s hypothesis because “basically, the basics” of their proposition was supported by the day’s research of how a Latina can be jealous and that no other lady should mess with her man.

Like another friend, Lorena, said, “M s vale que ninguna otra est‚ rega¤ando a mi novio.” (No other should dare scolding my boyfriend.)

Women, take pride on maintaining the necessary order, and Latinas continue putting your amorcitos en su sitio. Latinos, I know how you feel about us and our actions; in the words of comedian George Lopez, “you liked-ed-ed it!”