Choose your cliche: red states versus blue states, values voters versus pluralist progressives, right-wing extremists versus fanatic secularists. It’s America’s own clash of the civilizations.

Still reeling from the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals decision that deemed “under God” in the Pledge of Allegiance unconstitutional, some conservative Christians have taken up the cause of posting the Ten Commandments everywhere possible and organizing boycotts of retailers who favor the secular greeting “Happy Holidays” over “Merry Christmas.” Meanwhile, the American Civil Liberties Union is working on the constitutionally important task of removing biblical verses from placards at the Grand Canyon and threatening to sue Los Angeles County, Calif. unless it removes a minuscule cross from its county seal.

Another skirmish recently erupted when flags were lowered to half-staff at government buildings to honor the death of Pope John Paul II. The Ohio Supreme Court declined to lower its flag, amid concerns about the “separation of church and state.” (Question: Did lowering the flags to half-staff after Bob Hope’s death effectively establish an official comedian?)

A week earlier, a death penalty jury verdict was overturned in Colorado when it was learned that one of the jurors read aloud from a Bible (gasp!) during deliberations.

Both sides eagerly await a Supreme Court decision that will allow them to celebrate victory or lament defeat over the forces of darkness. Last month, inside a building featuring a statue of Moses on its exterior, inside bronze gates picturing the Ten Commandments, in a room with walls depicting Moses and two stone tablets, at a bench below a likeness of the Decalogue, nine Justices heard arguments concerning the constitutionality of posting the Ten Commandments at courthouses in Texas and Kentucky.

It’s a tough decision for the high court. Choose in favor of the Ten Commandments, and the country is headed full speed down the slippery slope to theocracy. Soon, women won’t be allowed outside of the house without a chaperone, non-Christians will be rounded up and sent to Guantanamo Bay, and televangelists will be advising President Bush on which pagan countries to invade and Christianize.

However, if the court chooses to remove the Ten Commandments, this country is headed to hell in a hand basket. Christians better run for the hills and pray that the Rapture happens before this godforsaken cesspool is smote out Sodom-and-Gomorrah style.

Obviously, both sides have done a poor job of picking their battles. As a Christian fundamentalist — if you call believing that Jesus Christ is mankind’s only hope for eternal salvation fundamentalism — I can say that it makes little sense to measure the success of one’s mission by the number of Old Testament laws displayed, since Christian doctrine holds that righteousness comes not from the law, but through faith in Christ (Philippians 3:9). Neither do monotone recitations of “one nation, under God” bring much glory to the Creator of the universe. Exercising one’s electoral muscles is not equivalent to saving souls.

For the secularists, claiming that every public expression of religiosity — even if it is a barely perceptible cross symbolizing the historical influence of missionaries in Los Angeles County — is akin to an official establishment of religion shows a shocking lack of perspective.

Is religion only something that can be expressed at church on Sunday, but must be suppressed in public?

Intolerance for the G-word in any phrase other than a curse is not likely to build the foundation for a civically vibrant, accepting and pluralistic society.

The best remedy to the recurrent squabbles is not to call on the courts to pick a winner, like immature siblings demand their parents to determine “who started it.” Instead, differences ought to be discussed openly in the public square.

And whether you think he is a prophet, a fictional character, a regular guy or the Son of God, heed the advise of Jesus of Nazareth: “Before you complain about sawdust in someone else’s eye, first remove the plank from your own eye.”