WASHINGTON — When 16-year-old Gary Ashcroft’s father, Capt. Robert Ashcroft, was sent to Iraq, Gary felt lost.

Gary, the oldest of Robert’s three sons, said few classmates at his small-town high school could relate to what he was going through when his father, a civilian Air Force employee, was called to active duty.

On Wednesday, the family was on Capitol Hill to talk about a program that has helped support them through their father’s absence.

Operation Military Kids is a resource organization designed to help children of Guard and Reserve service members connect with each other and to their active-duty parents. Gary participated in a pilot program that allowed him to alleviate his stress by connecting with others through Internet message boards and conference calls.

Gary said this program made going to school easier for him.

“It allows me to have a pretty functional, normal life,” he said.

Robert, a 43-year-old U.S. Army Reservist from Cochran, Ga., had previously been away from his family for only a few weeks at a time. Wednesday, he was savoring the last few days of his weeklong leave before returning to Iraq for another six months.

“The hardest thing is, there’s things I’m missing with my boys,” he said.

While Robert was in Iraq, Gary got his driver’s license, and next week he will attend prom for the first time. Robert’s, wife, Rhonda, 42, said adjusting to the change has been difficult.

“Your whole perspective changes,” she said.

A national team has worked since January 2004 to get the program started in 20 pilot states, chosen for their high deployment rates. Iowa is one of those states, with 2,500 National Guard and Reserve members on active duty overseas.

Michael Cooley, freshman in agricultural education, helped create the program through his involvement in 4-H and works with the new group’s Iowa branch. He estimated more than 2,400 children in Iowa have parents on active duty.

He was the master of ceremonies for the program’s national kickoff and said it helps children express how they feel to a group that understands.

“The most beneficial aspect would be to feel comfortable conveying the emotions that the kids are going through,” he said.

Sen. Charles Grassley, R-Iowa, said many times families of service members are overlooked.

“All too often, we don’t pay enough attention to families who are home worrying,” he said. “These children have different needs and problems than children of professional military parents.”

Because they are not accustomed to military life, the group said children of reservists often have trouble focusing in school and enjoying the activities they enjoyed when their parent was home.

Chris Gleason, Iowa State military liaison for the 4-H Youth Development program, said Iowa would host an Operation: Purple summer camp from July 10 to 15 for 50 children from all military branches.

She said the children would stay at the Iowa 4-H Center near Des Moines and work on their coping and communication skills.