The question hangs in the air but always goes unanswered: Why are people leaving this great state of Iowa in record numbers?

This trend of migration out of Iowa has been known for some time, but just exactly why people are choosing to leave and bleeding Iowa dry of taxpayers has continued to stump researchers and lawmakers. Tax rates, property value, education, jobs and even climate have all been considered as factors for the emigration. Studies have conflicting results, however.

Some Iowa lawmakers even wanted to eliminate income taxes for Iowans under the age of 30 as an incentive to get young people to stay awhile. But the fact is that tax incentives have had, at best, mixed results when trying to keep people from moving out of state.

A study by the nonpartisan Legislative Fiscal Bureau showed that tax policy had no correlation to migration rates of seven Midwest states conducted in its study. Clearly something else is at work here.

Climate was recently suggested as an impetus for people’s desire to move. The fact that the Midwest climate kills people with heat stroke in the summer and freezes people to death in the winter might make people search for a more temperate zone. This idea had some legs, because it was noted in a few studies that many Midwesterners find themselves moving to places like Texas and Arizona.

Funnily enough, a recent study by the Legislative Services Agency showed that Minnesota received the most Iowan refugees last year. Obviously, if you’re looking for a more comfortable place to live in regard to temperature, Minnesota is not your proverbial hot spot. I find the fact that Minnesota has a stable population after each winter to be a miracle in and of itself, so climate is definitely not the biggest factor here.

So, what’s the deal, Iowa? Being a former Illinoisan myself, I feel I have a sufficient outside perspective to give a fresh analysis of the situation, and I feel that the culprit here is much deeper and much more taboo than tax rates or weather. The largely overlooked factor in Iowa migration is of course the big “C” word: culture.

As if you weren’t already aware, the rest of the country doesn’t think of Iowa as a “happenin'” kind of place. People cover their mouths and try not to snicker when that tidbit about Iowa having more pigs than people comes up. The East and West Coasts lovingly refer to the Midwest as “flyover” country, because the only time they realize we’re even here is when they’re flying over us on one of their vacations to the other coast.

Think of the culture problem in terms of off-campus house parties. If the state of Iowa were a house party, it would be a large, comfortable country house with only a handful of people and all the cheap beer you could drink. There is no line for the keg, but the music is kind of bland and there is nobody else there.

Then consider New York. If the state of New York were a house party, it would be a large, noisy apartment building filled with every race on Earth, all screaming and dancing and listening to their own music.

The place is packed, rocking out hardcore and more and more people keep rushing to try to get inside. Imagine you’re looking at the New York party from inside the Iowa party.

Kind of hard not to at least wander over and see what all the fuss is about, right?

Too bad the joke is on the New Yorkers in the end. Because, like all huge house parties, the fully stocked bar is expensive, you can hardly move for the crowding, you can’t talk over the music, and you’re up to your ankles in beer and vomit. People trade in slightly better economic opportunity for overcrowding, pollution and crime. Somehow and someway, this anarchy became the “place to be.”

I have a feeling Iowa will start to get its “partiers” back when we start showing people that a nice, clean place where you can hear yourself think isn’t that bad of a place after all.