The next two weeks will be, without question, the best of the year. While some students will spend days and nights getting blitzed in Acapulco, I will be holed up in an undisclosed location with my television, a six pack of beverages and my soon-to-be-first-place NCAA bracket. You can take your umbrella drinks and burnt bodies; I will be just fine with the Chattanooga Mocs and Bob Huggins.

Go ahead, roll your eyes, but I will be the one on top of the bracket standings when March becomes April. In the end, that’s what matters in life — winning low-stakes basketball pools … I think I need some help.

But before I call the therapist, here are some random things to think about while watching the Madness unfold.

• Will anyone miss Gene Keady? His final season as Purdue coach will land the Boilermakers with fewer than 10 wins and a home loss to Baylor. Somewhere in Pennsylvania, Joe Paterno should be taking notes.

• Savannah State became the second team in the last 50 years of the NCAA to not win a game. Needless to say, its coach was fired.

• Curtis Stinson should have been first-team all-Big 12. Just curious though; do you think if his order gets messed up at a local restaurant, he puts his arms out, palms up and shakes his head in disgust?

• Boston College may be the worst No. 1 seed candidate of all time. Seriously, can someone name three players on BC? No, Troy Bell and Doug Flutie aren’t eligible.

• Andrew Bogut is ESPN.com’s National Player of the Year. In other news, Tyson Chandler, Eddy Curry, Emeka Okafor, Ben Gordon and T.J. Ford should be seniors in college; Amare Stoudemire and Carmelo Anthony, juniors; and LeBron James and Luol Deng, sophomores.

• Jared Homan has the best goatee in college basketball.

• Would anyone be crushed if Dick Vitale was deported? Could we trade him to Telemundo for that soccer dude who yells, “GOALLLLLLLL!”

• Whatever you do, don’t pick Arizona to make the Final Four. It’s like watching “My Super Sweet 16” on MTV. You really want to, but it will make you angry in the end.

• The Illinois Fighting Illini and Washington Huskies are carbon-copies of each other. Both have amazing guards but unsavory post players.

• The best part of Selection Sunday is Billy Packer and friends going insane over some mid-major who got snubbed. Favorites for this year: Buffalo, Northern Iowa, Wichita State and Davidson.

• Is Damion Staple the shortest guy in the nation to participate in the jump ball? I think each team should get an extra scholarship to recruit a guy whose sole job it is to win the jump. It would be similar to a reliever who only pitches to lefties.

• Iowa State will get an eight or nine seed in the Big Dance and be the team no No. 1 seed wants to see in the second round.

Let the Madness begin.