Help us Obi-Wan Kenobi, you’re our only hope.

We, the Jedi Editorial Council, are sitting here watching “The OC,” waiting for the new “Star Wars” trailer to come on. And this has to be the worst show ever imagined.

If it weren’t for the Jedi oath we have taken, the holiest of holies, we would have sentenced these traitors to the spice mines of Kessel long ago.

Alright, Obi-Wan. We don’t know if we can take this show any longer. This is killing us. Another moment of this blasphemy and we’ll ignite our lightsabers and go to town like back home, on Tatooine.

Right now, the OC rebels are having a slumber party in the mall. They’re locked in, about as helpless as a litter of Ewoks in a wet paper bag. Rather than unlock the doors using their Jedi mind powers, they are playing a game of roller hockey.

Adventure. Hah! A Jedi craves not these things. The Jedi embody all that is pure and true. We, as Jedi Knights, live a code of honor and integrity.

Incidentally, “The OC” has been banned by the Jedi Council. And not just because it is painfully bad. The real reason, as explained by Master Yoda, is that “The OC” is an agent of the Dark Side. But we are watching it for intelligence purposes, gathering information on the Sith’s unsavory schemes.

But rather than teaching us about the Sith, this show is destroying our peace and tranquility.

Maybe the Dark Side isn’t such a bad place to be.

WHOA. THANK YOU, GEORGE LUCAS! Episode III actually looks good. We have to say, George, it’s a little humiliating when you represented us Jedi as you did in Episodes I and II.

In fact, maybe we should submit our two-weeks’ notice right now. These Sith have the kind of power we need. And what we need is to destroy “The OC.” We feel the hatred flowing through our veins, opening new windows of the Force that will enable us to crush these punks like never before. It was the dialogue. After seeing these Jedi and their weak conversational powers, no true wielder of the Force could resist crushing them with the power of the Sith.

Teach us, Senator Palpatine. Unleash the darkness within us so that the OC enemy can be destroyed now and forever. These pranksters make us embarrassed to have once been Jedi.

And now the circle is complete. Before we were the students, but now we are the masters. With our newfound power, we will stalk our prey. We will corner the OC, look it straight in the eye and unleash our anger. Watch us, young apprentice, as we strike it down with all of our hate!