The Story County Board of Supervisors is considering a new ordinance that would track the sale of beer kegs. The gist of the plan is to record the sale of beer kegs over two gallons, according to buyer, and to keep that record on file for one year. Law enforcement could easily retrieve this information in their efforts to curb underage drinking.

This plan is not practical because it fails to consider the mindset of the targeted buyer group: ISU students. Supporters of the plan believe buyers will be discouraged from playing host to large parties if they know their names will be recorded as potential evidence.

Ordinance supporters don’t understand that the mindset of the typical university student is defined by problem solving, and that such a law simply presents another problem for ingenious students to solve.

That’s what college is all about: problem solving. All tasks, more or less, come back to it. Solving math equations and writing English papers are only minor manifestations of this. The more important ones include time management, maintaining employment, handling responsibilities not typically required in high school, paying bills, sharing space with roommates and so on.

One can see this mindset in action even in the most mundane events. In the winter, for example, students forge corner-cutting foot-trails through snow to save four seconds of walking time. This microscopic improvement — that is not seen in typical Iowa towns — demonstrates the ingrained level of problem solving within the student psyche.

Getting around pesky ordinances such as the one proposed would be just one more entertaining problem-solving exercise.

Story County should listen closely. When a group of students wants to play host to a keg party with the proposed ordinance in place, one of the following two scenarios is likely to occur.

For relatively small parties, the host(s) would simply make the party BYOB, or buy cases of beer supplemented with more liquor. This would obviously bypass the keg ordinance.

For large parties, the “stupid friend” would be called on to handle the kegs. Done deal. Even if the party is busted, there is no shortage of die-hard party animals to take the fall next time.

The Story County Board of Supervisors is wasting its time in considering this proposal. Some laws are good, some bad. Some are well-intentioned but create more problems than they solve. That is what this one would do if enacted.

With this in mind, we share the following Alcoholics Anonymous recovery slogan: “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”