To the 20-plus fine young men who are expected to sign letters of intent today to play football for Iowa State University:

Hi. Iowa State Daily here. We’ll be the ones shoving tape recorders in your faces for the next four or five years (six if you’re Jason White) and asking you inane questions like whether the team intends to “rebound” from a 55-3 whitewashing by Iowa or Oklahoma or whomever.

We’re the sportswriters and editors who’ll be following your lives … but we’ll also be your fellow ISU students, and it’s in that role that we address you today. Take it or leave it (most people do), but here is a sampling of our accumulated advice that might serve you well during your stay in Ames.

DO go to class. Resentment by “normal students” toward supposedly privileged collegiate student-athletes is nothing new. You can either reinforce that perception, or you can combat it. If we see you in the same lame lectures as us, we can at least continue to entertain the fantasy that you play by some of the same academic rules as we do.

DON’T sit in the same seat in class for more than a day, though, not ever. Instead, move playfully from desk to desk about the classroom so that the athletic department’s attendance monitors have to do a little bit of work to earn their pay.

DO be yourself during meals, in class, during interviews and so on. You’ll be coached against doing this, particularly with media, and there are some good reasons for that. But there are also strong arguments that suggest the sports figures with a good sense of humor turn out to be the most popular around here. It’s more than half the reason Larry Eustachy and his resignation/firing still cause conversation around here. (By the way, any chance we could get Larry up here to take over the men’s basketball free-throw coaching?) (Inside joke, sorry.)

DON’T tell implausible lies, though. When Iowa State heads south to play a school from your home state of Texas, please don’t tell reporters it doesn’t mean anything to you because you “had always wanted to go to Iowa State.” We’re not that dumb.

And finally, DON’T do something stupid — which usually means don’t get in trouble with the law. People will turn on you, and fast, and that includes this editorial board. You get a lot because of your ability. People will rightfully squawk if you squander that good fortune.

Should you manage to show up on the police blotter, though, DO hold a press conference during which you stare at a sheet of paper with an insincere apology we’re guessing you didn’t write and stumble through a monotone reading of it. That will get people back on your side. Maybe we are that dumb.

Welcome to Iowa State. We are sincerely happy to have you.