We hope that you’re happy, all you young, non-voters. It turns out that, despite optimistic projections about a massive increase in the number of young voters, fewer than 1 in 10 voters Tuesday were 18 to 24, about the same proportion of the electorate in 2000.

This means that our voice isn’t any louder this election than it was before. MTV failed to “Rock the Vote,” Leonardo DiCaprio and Bon Jovi came to Iowa State in vain and P. Diddy is now coming to kill you.

How on earth did the numbers not increase? Volunteers worked themselves to the bone to get students registered to vote, and they did so in record numbers. Collegiate Republicans and Democrats worked grueling hours to mobilize students all across the country.

So what went wrong?

It’s easy. Student apathy. If you’ve managed to read this far into the column, you have a longer attention span than most of your classmates.

If you’re a Republican, then be happy that young voter apathy worked in your favor, because many would-be Kerry voters decided to stay home and play “Halo 2.”

There has never been a better time to be a Republican. The GOP added four seats to the House, three seats to the Senate — eliminating Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle, a South Dakota Democrat — and re-elected a president who has never shied away from pushing conservative legislation.

Some Supreme Court Justices are retiring soon, and they will most likely be replaced with pro-life judges who don’t take kindly to Roe v. Wade.

In short, the Republicans can do almost anything they want. A federal ban against same-sex marriage and abortion will never have a better chance of passing than it does right now. Bush effectively has the keys to the government.

If you’re a Democrat and hearing this makes your blood boil, don’t spend the next four years blaming Bush. Blame your friends who failed opted to stay in and play video games rather than going out to vote.

Had they shown up, they probably would have helped Kerry win. After all, in Ohio, Kerry won among young adults but lost in every other category.

But since they didn’t vote, Bush has a stronger claim to his presidency than he ever did during his first term. He won the 2004 election with more votes than any other candidate in history. Not only does he have a mandate from the people, but it’s clear and uncontested.

Students complain that politicians ignore them. But if students continue to be irrelevant at the polls, it would be crazy for politicians not to ignore them.