During one of the debates, President Bush called John Kerry a liberal even worse than Ted Kennedy. Kerry, in turn, cautioned against the use of misleading labels.

To get a handle on this situation, I have designed a sort of litmus test by summarizing the ideas of Ted Kennedy and John Kerry in contrast to those of the president.

You are a liberal …

If you think that we should have a balanced budget and “pay as you go.”

If you care for children’s health and welfare.

If you think that everyone is entitled to an education — not only the rich.

If you want everyone to have access to affordable health care.

You are a conservative …

If you think we should accumulate a deficit so huge that it threatens to collapse the entire global economy.

If you think that white, heterosexual men should receive better pay and treatment than women, gays and minorities.

If you want to impose your religious beliefs and practices upon others.

If you think that tax support for higher education should be abolished and only kids who can afford it should go to college (and maybe even to grade school).

If you want to privatize social security and Medicare.

If you insist that, in spite of Enron and Erin Brockovich, companies monitor their own practices for business soundness and safety to humans and the environment.

Joanna Courteau

University Professor

Foreign Languages & Literatures