This is still freakin’ Iowa, right? It’s harder and harder to believe that when every day we’re warned about the dark forces of extreme evil pervading our fair state — forces conniving to fool you and win your political affections, only for a completely different (but equally evil) force to somehow steal your vote.

At least, that’s one way to interpret last week’s sniping match about absentee voting. Victory ’04, an Iowa Republican group, sent an automated phone message to supporters telling them “Shadowy organizations like [Americans Coming Together] and MoveOn.org are working with Democrats to collect ballots.” Apparently, these “shadowy” organizations were using the absentee voting system to gain any advantage they can for John Kerry when results are tabulated in November.

One of three things is true about this:

1. Shadowy organizations really will “jeopardize your vote.” The GOP is dutifully warning us.

2. Victory ’04 made the entire thing up. There’s no reason to suspect the friendly people picking up your ballots.

3. You’re best off putting your ballot in a safe deposit box, presuming you can trust your bank. Because ballot tampering is going on left and right — although the Republicans didn’t know anything about it, and Victory ’04 still made the whole thing up and just got lucky.

All exciting choices — and more than a little bit disheartening. This isn’t baseball, where if you ain’t cheatin’, you ain’t tryin’. This isn’t Afghanistan, where first-time voters this Saturday are still concerned about repercussions from their votes. This isn’t even a part of the United States where there may be as many people disenfranchised as people who vote.

The act of voting shouldn’t be a part of politics. Politics is voter registration. Politics is handing out absentee ballots to the lazy/busy/out-of-town. Politics is explaining the issues and arguing that your candidate should receive lots of votes.

But creating fear and confusion and doubt about whether people’s secret ballots count is despicable and it ought to stop. Now.

Of course, there is room for legitimate questions about technical mishaps, eligible voters being denied access, and even outright fraud. There’s every reason to believe that win-at-all-costs could mean a grade-school race to the lowest common denominator of campaign “tactics.” It isn’t out of line to criticize problems in the voting process.

What is wrong is to try to squeeze out a few extra votes by monkeying with ballots. Call us moralistic, self-righteously indignant — whatever. We think it’s possible and right to keep politics out of voting mechanics.