Homecoming means different things at different times in our lives. When you were a socially awkward preteen dreaming of high school and watching “Saved By The Bell” after school, Homecoming meant A.C. Slater shouting, “Surf’s up Valley, cause the Tigers are on the prowl!” while somehow managing not to get laughed out of The Max by Zack and Screech.

When you were a socially awkward high schooler — who was embarrassed to be dropped off in front of the school in your mom’s Dodge Caravan with the “Proud Parent of an Honor Roll Student” bumper sticker — Homecoming meant watching popular kids actually get crowns for being well-liked, slow dancing to Vanessa Williams’ “Save the Best for Last” and trying not to get picked on by anyone wearing a letter jacket.

Now that you’re a less socially awkward high school graduate, you might be thinking that getting exCYted about Homecoming as a college student is just about as pointless as getting pumped up to be a can man in Wisconsin. And you’re probably partially right. But Homecoming can be more than a week of manufactured school spirit and another chance to watch a football team from Texas drop the Cyclones like a math elective. It might actually be an OK time.

Every good Homecoming week starts with playing in tournaments. It gives you the chance to compete at basketball, dodgeball and volleyball against people who are just as out-of-shape as you. It provides you with the opportunity to get frustrated trying to differentiate the neck hole from the arm holes of those mesh jerseys you thought you left behind for good in high school gym class. You’ll laugh at your opponent who wears Under Armor, a headband, two wristbands, a calf band and nine other pieces of flare to play treds football, and you’ll still think it’s funny the 40th time your teammate screams, “We must protect this house” at the kid while he is warming up.

You’ll be slightly startled when the Under Armor kid has a Milton Bradley-type meltdown and finds it necessary to verbally abuse the volunteer referee and punt the ball across the Rec. But you’ll cut the kid some slack when you remember that he’s just protecting this house.

Next up in the week of festivities is the mass campaniling that takes place at midnight Friday. Curious, you’ll show up only to find out that campaniling is like a giant game of seven minutes in heaven, except that the closet is actually Central Campus and the seven minutes are more like 3.5 seconds.

You’ll also learn that showing up at the clock tower’s base at midnight without a predetermined makeout partner is almost exactly like showing up at a BYOB without YOB.

If you didn’t bring it with you, chances are that you aren’t going to find it there, and on the off chance that you do find it there, it’s probably going to taste terrible or belong to someone else.

By swinging by the alumni tailgate on Saturday afternoon, you’ll find that while many are slow and dangerous behind the wheel, alumni can still be useful. After all, someone has to donate money, reminisce about Hurl Beechum and Todd Doxzon and rub in the fact that their tuition cost $1,776 less per year in 1998 than what we pay now.

After a weeklong Homecoming experience, you’ll finally make it to the centerpiece of the Homecoming weekend.

You’ll watch in disbelief as Dan McCarney’s quarterback revolving-door tactic ends and he finally allows one signal caller to get into a rhythm.

You’ll reconsider your plan of sending him a bootlegged copy of “The Notebook” (not that you’ve seen that movie) to show him what happens when you don’t pick one man and stick with him.

You’ll watch gleefully as 2006 Heisman-trophy-winner-to-be Todd Blythe hauls in yet another touchdown lob over a helpless 5-foot-10 cornerback. You’ll taunt the corner for his size for a full five minutes before remembering that despite what your driver’s license says, you’re actually 5-foot-9.

You’ll still consider buying a square-toed kicking shoe and reporting to ISU offensive coordinator Barney Cotton’s office on Monday morning after Brian Jansen pushes his umpteenth missed point after touchdown wide right. Your jaw will drop as an Aggie drive stalls and think to yourself that for once, it isn’t the ISU offense that looks dazed and confused. A&M is now the bunch of dudes who are milling around hoping for something good to happen that, in the end, have little to no chance of actually scoring. And that’s a pretty welcome change.

Most importantly, you’ll enjoy the football game, enjoy the week and take pleasure in the fact that the Clones are actually improving.

Surf’s up Aggies, cause the Cyclones are on the prowl.