I get a lot of catalogs and magazines. I’m pretty obsessive about subscribing and ordering, although I don’t read any of them and flip through the catalogs when I’m bored. I hate not trying on clothes.

There’s one, however, that I am enamored with: the Victoria’s Secret catalog. Not the one with the clothes and slinky dresses, but the one with the lingerie and underwear.

I could say I like looking for lingerie, to dream of myself looking as sexy as Tyra Banks in that Angels lace demi-cup bustier with the gel inserts. But really, it’s kind of the same reason some women can stand the sight of porn.

I like looking at other half-naked women and thinking, “Man, she’s got weird-looking thighs. Mine are hotter. Her hair is thin. Mine looks better. And that tooth is crooked. I’m way hotter. I could definitely be in a TV ad pointing at my breasts screaming ‘Look at this bra. Look at it!'”

I do look for the lingerie and whatever, but I like the self-esteem boost of finding imperfections and pretending I don’t have as many.

The advent of airbrushing has made it more difficult for me to find these imperfections, or maybe they’re not even there. Either way, it’s a hunt. A hunt to make me feel like I could be a multimillion-dollar model who looks like she’s dying of malnourishment. And feel like my boyfriend would always sleep with me over Ms. Banks. No matter what.

The funny thing is, my roommate (who is a guy), has an Angel card. I don’t think he uses it anymore, since he’s single, but it’s there, sitting in his wallet.

He told me once he liked the catalog. All men like the catalog. They’ll sneak a look at it when nobody’s looking. Some of them even just order it the way they would subscribe to Playboy. However, it’s an entirely different reason than why I like the catalog.

They like the half-naked women because they’re hot. And wearing lingerie. And did I mention half-naked?

Men are not concerned with Gisele’s love of furry puppies, the depleting ozone layer and Renaissance literature. But her butt does look great in that thong, and her breasts look really … full … in that bra, and that is what matters.

It doesn’t mean they’re chauvinistic pigs by any means. Most women are OK with most men having unrealistic fantasies. They like beautiful women, just like I’d ogle over a catalog of boxer brief models.

It’s the enigma that binds the sexes together. Women like feeling as pretty as these women, if not more. Men like the women for who they are.

Unfortunately, ladies, men aren’t generally thinking, “Man, my girlfriend would look hot in that.”

Too bad we’d like them to think that.

Then again, my boyfriend probably hopes that someday I’ll turn into Tyra Banks. Only Asian. And shorter.