Wal-Mart and Michael Moore’s “Fahrenheit 9/11” both made some ugly headlines last week. Interesting coincidence.

Women want to sock that evil, yellow smiley face in the eye. More than 1.6 million former and current employees are behind the biggest lawsuit to date for sexual discrimination. The lawsuit also charges that women were regularly paid less than men for the same work.

Sounds like another wake-up call to promote equality in the workplace. But this corporation is no stranger to accusations and legal investigations. This particular lawsuit marks the capstone of a long history of shady business practices.

The world’s biggest retailer and largest private employer “always” promises “low prices” so it can violate child labor laws overseas. Its advertisements proudly declare that it is serving the needs of busy, working moms, yet that’s the very group it is exploiting off camera.

In my experience, Wal-Mart “low-cost” clothing falls apart after the first wash. In my experience during prime shopping hours on the weekends, I have observed that just two out of six or seven available checkout lanes are open at any given time.

That might explain why shoppers are impatient, disgruntled and shouting obscenities while ignored toddlers are howling up and down all the aisles. Maybe that’s why greeters were hired: to beg shoppers to return. As if management should be concerned that their shoppers won’t have a pleasant experience?

Do you suppose the same management runs the White House? That would explain a lot. Wal-Mart and the Bush administration are in cahoots — let’s compare.

Both have taken jobs from Americans and shipped them overseas, yet claim to be acting in the best interest of the people they serve.

Both have been subjected to extensive investigations regarding past behavior and decisions and both deny all accusations.

Both promote themselves as supporters of family values, yet do things to make the lives of middle and working class families more difficult.

When is the release date of the documentary about Wal-Mart?

Moore does his own narration in “Fahrenheit 9/11” that documents George W. Bush’s presidency from Inauguration Day to the present. It’s clever and comical. The facts are presented, but a different narrator (perhaps someone with a deeper, richer more authoritative sounding voice) might have more convincing as Moore seemed to struggle to keep his sarcasm in check.

Moore interviews an American mother, Lila, as she reads a letter her son wrote from the front lines, who like a lot of soldiers was questioning what this war is really about. The Bush administration glibly tells us we’re winning the “war on terrorism” from its plush, air-conditioned limos while celebrating with caviar and champagne.

Meanwhile our men and women are bleeding and losing their limbs in the trenches, are faced with situations they had not been trained for and coping with scarce supplies because, well, Bush used the money intended for the supplies to pay the caterers.

Lila wasn’t upset because her son had been killed in the line of duty. She was upset because he’d been killed in the line of duty for nothing.

She believes that our service men and women are dying daily so that Bush can push his agenda with his Middle Eastern oil cronies. Moore also emphasized that only one congressman had a kid fighting overseas.

Is Michael Moore merely a fool who just wants attention or an insightful truth-teller?

Is George W. Bush an honest man who sincerely wants what’s best for Americans or a wicked coward who is scamming Americans to promote a selfish agenda? Is Wal-Mart really guilty of sexual discrimination charges, or should the discount chain receive recognition for helping millions of blue-collar Americans save money? You decide.

Thank God we Americans are blessed with options.

Thank God our Constitution limits a president to just two terms and thank God we have alternatives to Wal-Mart.

Under a corrupt government, we still have the freedom to scream and yell about deception and injustice without getting beheaded or shot on the spot.

Even if women are getting the short end of the economic rewards, they have the freedom to vote, earn a college degree, own property, carry out their business in a public arena without the supervision of men and without covering themselves from head to toe.

And most of us, myself included, are also lucky to be blissfully unaware and sheltered from the horrors of war.

We should consider our glass of water half-full instead of half-empty.

Can I still sock George W. in the eye?