Do you remember the ’90s? That heady time when we all wore flannel and thought that Eddie Vedder had something significant to say about contemporary life? When we all said “Whoomp, there it is,” in conversation with no shame? When Zack and Kelly finally tied the knot in Hawaii, with Slater and Lisa looking on?

Of course you do. It was four years ago. Even the most pot-addled among us can remember, if only vaguely, the rise of Furby and Tamagotchi and, keeping with the theme of horrible technological innovations, the Aqua song “Barbie Girl.”

Yes, we remember. But until we have Hal Sparks and Sir Mix-a-Lot give us their perspective, can it truly be said that we lived, really lived, these events?

The answer, of course, is no, and so, VH1, in accordance with its philosophy of producing show after show in which some vaguely famous celebrity talks about how dumb something in our recent past was, the channel has innovated on the success of “I Love the 80s” with the creatively named “I Love the 90s.”

Like Rush Limbaugh doing an erotic striptease, you’re horrified, and yet, you can’t look away, as a large panel of B-list celebs offer their thoughts on foolish trends such as Slap Wraps and the Clinton presidency. This is, after all, the manifest of our formative years,.

It’s no wonder so many of us are so bottomlessly stupid.

Now, I know that seems harsh. I know it seems like I’m just some crabby guy picking on the weaknesses of my generation.

Read my lips: Taco Bell Chihuahua. I hear you groaning. God knows we’re all ashamed. But the fact remains that we allowed “Yo Quiero Taco Bell” to be a part of our national consciousness. There were T-shirts, for the love of God! T-SHIRTS!

Now, for most of the ’90s, we were young. We weren’t in charge of the way things were happening, so perhaps we’re not as guilty in this as our Generation Y counterparts (or are we Generation Y? Are we Z? And if so, what comes next? Can we go back to A? Or are we simply out of generations?)

But the fact remains that we, like the poor, gullible saps who bought into the ’80s, will have to answer for our crimes.

If VH1 has taught us anything (and it appears, sadly, that it has), it’s that we must be cautious about the idiocy we adopt in the name of making our lives more in sync (or *NSync! Ha ha ha … ha … I’m sorry) with MTV’s marketing strategy. Just because P. Diddy claims to be keeping it real with the streets, does not give you, a longtime resident of an Iowa suburb, the license to begin wearing saggy pants, tank tops, and sideways hats and giving props to your homies. You look like a jackass. Stop it.

I don’t mean to be harsh; I simply want to remind you, the reader, that there will be a time that you will have to explain your actions and appearance to a younger generation. When that happens, hopefully you will be able to provide better answers than “It was popular at the time, and I was weak-minded.”

Having said that, Peace Out. I’m off to grind a phat ollie, fo’ shizzle.