You should hear what they say about you,” a longtime Ames resident tells me after learning I moved here in pursuit of a college education. I know what some of them say because I’ve got Fern Kupfer’s April 26 Daily guest column to prove it.

I’m writing to address the unfortunate state of relations between ISU students and and the city of Ames at-large. We can no longer afford to pretend our love-hate relationship isn’t mutually destructive. I’ve been guilty of fueling this a few times, for which I am sorry. But I’m not a bad person.

Like most people, I want the Ames community to thrive and blossom into a place we can all be proud of. This will take work. The first step is to recognize everyone who lives here as a member of the Ames community.

Unfortunately though, some residents just aren’t interested in working to make our symbiotic relationship as good as can be. Some seem locked into a neverending “us vs. them” conflict. For every piece of anti-student legislation passed, alienated students respond with more “temporary resident” behavior and the cycle continues. Who really wants this?

After living in Okoboji for 10 years — quite easily the biggest tourist spot in Iowa — I can say with authority that if year-round Okoboji residents were to specifically target tourists out of spite, the place would jump straight into the gutter and die. Okobojians understand the phrase “tourists are like fish: they both stink after three days.” Fortunately, Okoboji is packed with enough wisdom to recognize what can’t be changed and most importantly, the ability to adapt. The result is a very casual yet cool lifestyle in tune with the tourists.

If anyone thinks the 400-person party on Hunt Street was something to brag about, please go visit Okoboji on the Fourth of July, where alcohol flows all summer long and the idea of rioting is ridiculous. Riots don’t happen in Okoboji, despite the unbelievably high consumption of alcohol and nice crowds, because there is no underlying conflict like here in Ames.

Okobojians and tourists spend summers living in harmony, all enjoying the attractions and nice weather together. If we could see our community as it is — tainted with bitterness, oblivious to its potential — would we continue this petty, childish rivalry?

Every Ames resident is losing out here, but the biggest losers are the long-term residents. While ISU students only suffer setbacks for a few years before leaving Iowa State, those remaining never see the end. Perhaps this explains the condescending tone Fern Kupfer took against 27,000 unique individuals on Monday.

Let’s be honest: Some students regularly make life difficult for long-term residents. What some people forget though are the many things we students bring to the community: the mass exchange of ideas and viewpoints, economic strength and youth — things lacking all over Iowa. Let the long-term residents show their wisdom by cultivating students rather than combatting us. They have the world to gain and only their grief to lose.

We students must do our part as well. I call on the student body to follow the excellent advice of Erin Boote in her April 22 Daily letter to patronize businesses damaged in the riot. Campustown is the only place (other than the university) we students can truly call home. All others flow along a different wavelength — perfectly fine, but we must clean up our own backyard before expecting reciprocal action from a skeptical non-student population.

Students should be proud of whom they are because there is no shame in seeking a college education. However, we should be more respectful of Ames neighborhoods past 10 p.m. or so. You couldn’t catch me going to bed before midnight, but children need their sleep. Their parents need rest too, because raising kids is no holiday.

The Government of the Student Body must dedicate itself to playing a bold role in working with the Ames community. Some naysayers will favor confrontation over communication. Ignore them! As Anne Frank said, “How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”

The Ames community is what we make of it. Why wait? Tonight, gyro guy and City Councilman Matthew Goodman will moderate a community forum for our long overdue “talk.” It’ll be in the Great Hall of the MU at 7 p.m. Come to listen and be heard. I hope to see you there.