Only George Carlin could make the topic of men committing suicide more often than women funny. Or an all-suicide channel. Or terrorism.

“Betcha got an all-suicide channel,” he said. “Shit, you got an all-golf channel.”

Although he had no trouble speaking Thursday night to an audience of 1,855 at Stephens Auditorium, Carlin said he thinks of most of his off-the-wall material when he’s alone.

“Someone’s gotta think of these things,” he said. “Apparently, I’ve been appointed.”

He’s a visionary, he said, and his ego about his ideas is well-deserved.

Carlin, the comedian probably known most for his lewdness, vulgarity and seven naughty little words, put on a show reminiscent of the grandparent all the children love and all the parents hate.

Although he could have offended Fox viewers, parents, terminally ill patients, drunk drivers, cable companies, women, environmentalists and most Republicans, he didn’t. That is the genius of Carlin, and why he’s still so immensely popular after so many years. Everybody laughs at themselves when Carlin is the one making the jokes.

Even in a time of heated political debate, political commentary didn’t dominate his act — although it came through well enough and with great humor.

His act ranged from fart jokes to commentary on voters to the idea of donating young, barely used genitalia to those who need it most — mountain men and single women.

Carlin could have picked a better opening act, though. Dennis Blair tried his best to be amusing during his half-hour, but ruined himself when, toward the end of his set, he picked up a folk guitar and tried to make a mockery of any musical act the audience shouted at him. “You can’t play hard rock on a folk guitar,” he repeated twice, when requested to play some AC/DC. Blair was predictable in the remainder of his act, poking at constantly touring bands like the Rolling Stones, Ozzy Osbourne, drunk airline pilots and the obligatory Michael Jackson slam.

“That’s the best mug shot of the year,” Blair said. “He looks like his own negative, for Christ’s sake.”

Carlin was definitely the gem of the night, more than outshining his special guest. Surprisingly, the first part of Carlin’s act contained no swear words. Carlin read a poem containing his definition of himself.

“I’m interactive and hyperactive, and from time to time I’m radioactive,” he said. “I’m a rude dude, but I’m the real deal.”

But after that, he slipped into the commentary the world knows Carlin for — criticism and crudeness.

He quickly launched into his thoughts on the first enema, the numbers of songs in the world, why there are no songs about cancer and the stench that comes from sitting in the back three rows of the economy class of an airplane flying from the Third World.

What was probably old material about the holidays still proved amusing. Maybe it had to do with Carlin’s conversational, rambling style.

“I jacked off a reindeer once,” he said. “Couple of eggnogs, one thing led to another. Happy holidays.”

Carlin said he does like something besides his own vulgarity, though. Perhaps it’s the theme that’s kept him going for so many years.

“I kind of like it when a lot of people die,” he said.