Attention — Democrats, liberals and everyone else crying because you believe President Bush has caused a vast loss of jobs: I hope you’re happy, because the President has just handed you a giant hanky.

Apparently there are so many jobs available, we now have to import workers to fill these positions.

You say you still don’t have a job? You don’t want to work for minimum wage? Hey, it’s all right, we have plenty of illegal aliens who will pick up these jobs to keep America’s markets up and the cost of food down.

You think you need more money to live? You need to support your wife, 12 kids and your relatives in Mexico? Not to worry, you can be just like the millions of other people already living off the government.

As long as you are a citizen of the United States, all of your immediate relatives can legally come to live here with you. Once they are citizens, all of their immediate relatives can come to live here as well. Their children can live here and attend public schools because our American morals cause us to be concerned for the welfare of all human beings.

President Bush says he isn’t proposing amnesty, but if the president pointed to an opossum and said “What a lovely giraffe,” the opossum certainly would not turn into a giraffe. In fact, in 1986 amnesty was granted to three million illegal aliens. We cared about them so much we spent $8.56 billion to educate 400,000 undocumented children.

From 1997-2001, the cost of educating the children of legalized aliens took $29.4 billion mostly from state and local budgets.

Our homeland will be more secure now that we can better account for those who enter our country. Those already here can turn themselves in, pay a one time fee and register themselves in the new “temporary worker program.” Upon registration, immigrants will receive a plethora of benefits.

They will be able to travel back and forth across the border legally, so they can take the money they make here home to their relatives in Mexico. They can legally be employed at jobs that no American citizen wants and be paid minimum wage or less. Each work period is three years, and it can be renewed once — that’s six years. So if they are working for minimum wage, living here for six years and bringing in their relatives, they aren’t weighing very high on the official scale of living standards. From 1987 to 1996, the total cost of assistance and services to legalized aliens was $102.1 billion. In that decade legalized aliens paid a total of $78 billion in taxes; however, they overstayed their welcome by $24.1 billion. In 1986, just 3 million illegal immigrants were granted amnesty, but today there are anywhere from 8 to 11 million who receive it.

With so many illegal immigrants being rewarded for making it to the U.S., one would think they’d be delighted. Much of the Latino population, though, is not satisfied.

Frankly, the best way to reduce the pressures that cause illegal immigration is to help expand the economic opportunities among countries in our global neighborhood. The answer is certainly not to give them amnesty or a “temporary worker program.”

If economic growth and prosperity are occurring in Mexico, fewer people will need to come here.

But no, that would be getting involved in another country’s affairs, and we can’t have that now, can we?

Nicole Woodruffe is a sophomore in pre-law from Ft. Madison. She is a member of Campus Republicans.