Listen up, pop culture icons — I’ve got a little piece of advice that will save you millions of dollars in legal costs and oodles of public embarrassment. This might be tough for some of you to wrap your simple minds around, but if you give it a try, you’ll be amazed at how this one idea will completely change your life. Are you ready for it?

Don’t tape yourselves having sex.

Maybe I’m oversimplifying here, but it’s always been my impression that if you don’t want the entire world to see you in your most compromised state, don’t let someone you don’t completely trust take nude photos or video of you. But for some reason, recent events in the entertainment world have proven celebrities haven’t quite nailed down this concept yet.

A few weeks ago, adult magazine mogul Larry Flynt came forward, claiming to have nude photos of war puppet Jessica Lynch taken by fellow soldiers in an Army barracks. Shortly thereafter, Flynt announced that he also has photos of former Playboy playmates the Barbi Twins showing “intimate sexual acts between the twin sisters.”

If Flynt is being truthful about having these photos, disgust doesn’t even begin to describe the situation these women willingly put themselves in. However, neither of these incidents measures up to the circus surrounding socialite Paris Hilton and her sex tape.

Apparently, the bajillionaire party girl and her now-ex-boyfriend, Richard Solomon, decided it would be a good idea to videotape themselves in a variety of sexual situations. But just like Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee a few years before, the tape found its way to the Internet.

The similarities between Hilton and Anderson’s situation, however, stop there.

It may have been embarrassing, but Anderson was completely up-front with the public when her tape started worming its way onto hard drives across the world. She wasn’t embarrassed about making the tape — she was angry about its public release. Hilton, on the other hand, has done her damnedest to trivialize her involvement with the tape.

First, she said the tape never existed. Then, she sued her ex for $10 million for releasing the tape to the public, which he has denied. Now, she’s decided the best tactical approach is to claim she wasn’t a willing participant in the sex tape.

Solomon may be a scumbag for selling the tape, but it only takes a few seconds of watching it to realize there was no coercion involved. So what exactly is her motivation for trying to discredit everyone involved with the film but herself?

Perhaps this was a botched opportunity for the attention-loving hotel heiress to spend a few more seconds in front of the camera. Or could she be upset at the film’s production value? Even Hilton looks a bit like E.T. in the greenish hue of the camera’s night vision.

Or maybe she’s just pissed at Solomon because the sex wasn’t very good — what else could explain her stopping midway through to answer her cell phone?

Every couple, both public and private, has the right to videotape their sex lives if they so wish. But public figures must realize their home movies will cause a much bigger splash if they’re ever leaked to the masses.

If celebrities can live with this fact of life, go ahead — roll tape. But if you’re forced to do damage control to protect your sweet, innocent image, you might want to take a second glance at who has their finger on the record button.