The prospect of losing a loved one is never easy. When legal and moral recriminations surround the death of a loved one, the loss becomes even more painful for the family.

In the extreme case of Terri Schiavo, there will be no winners. Schiavo has been in a vegetative state since she experienced heart failure and consequent brain damage in 1990 at the age of 26. She is able to breathe on her own, but must be fed through a feeding tube.

Terri’s condition has resulted in a legal battle between her parents and her husband, Michael Schiavo.

Schiavo says his wife told him years ago if she were ever in a condition like this, she wouldn’t want to live on artificial support. After a prolonged legal battle, the Florida courts ordered the woman’s feeding tube removed.

Terri’s parents, however, still hope for a miracle. They say their daughter responds to them in facial gestures and noises, and they want Terri to continue to live. At their urging last week, the Florida Legislature voted to give Gov. Jeb Bush the power to order Terri’s feeding tube reattached.

In this case, something that should have been a very personal and private decision has become a public spectacle.

We’ve all seen the family videos of Terri gurgling and interacting with her mother. We’ve seen her husband interviewed on CNN’s “Larry King Live.” But the circus of media coverage and hot political debate in Florida will do very little to help Terri Schiavo’s splintered family pick up the pieces. And it certainly won’t improve Terri’s life.

But something can be learned from Terri’s tragedy.

A positive outcome from the Schiavo case may be to encourage other young people to sit down with their loved ones to discuss what they would like to have done in similarly difficult circumstances.

Terri left no living will or written instructions, only words her husband testifies she said years ago before her heart failure. Much of her family’s feuding could have been avoided had Terri written a living will about what medical treatment she would have wanted or refused, had she become too impaired to make choices for herself.

Not many people imagine experiencing heart failure at the age of 26. Young people may think they’re invincible, but too often this isn’t the case. Had Terri prepared a living will, she would have spared her family the additional grief and pain of a legal tangle.

Anyone who is 18 years or older should learn a tough lesson from Terri’s sad case: Find a lawyer to write a living will. Discussing it with your family isn’t enough. Write your wishes down, and make sure all members of your family are clear on them.