Saturday night I did something I haven’t done in a very long time — I cried myself to sleep. I wasn’t mourning over Iowa State’s defeat, however — my emotions were a direct result of the Hawks’ win.

One crappy day during the 1996 football season, I was a freshman in high school and was in Clarinda for a marching band contest. The day was crappy because I was missing another Iowa Hawkeye football game at Kinnick Stadium. You see, my dad was a die-hard University of Iowa fan. We had season tickets since I could remember. While I couldn’t exactly tell you how long we’d been going to games, I once asked my dad if Iowa was playing the Hawkeyes (I was confused because one end zone said “Iowa” and the other said “Hawkeyes”).

While I was stuck in Clarinda, my dad and a good friend were going to see the big game. Unfortunately, my dad would never make it there. I received the news that he had some heart trouble and was in a hospital close to Des Moines. In hysterics, I threw my stuff on the school bus and sped off with my aunt and cousin in their car.

I awoke in the parking lot of the hospital. I had slept off my anxiety and nervousness and was ready to see my dad. My aunt and a nurse took me into a waiting room. At this point I was very confused — all I wanted in the world at that moment was to see my dad. My aunt turned to me and uttered the words I will never forget, “Your dad passed away.”

At that moment, my life came to a proverbial fork in the road. The kinds of things that only happen to other people became very real to me. Thoughts dashed through my head so fast I couldn’t keep up with them.

We went out to the car, and exhaustedly passed out. I awoke with a strange feeling knowing something was wrong, but I couldn’t put my finger on it. All of a sudden, those feelings and thoughts came rushing back. I knew my life would never be the same.

It’s tough losing a parent.

Nearly seven years have passed since that day. I can’t believe it has been so long. I can remember going to football games like it was yesterday. I remember how we used to watch TV together at night. I remember riding with him on the last RAGBRAI he’d ever experience. I remember all the good times we had and what a good person he was.

It has been a long time, and I have dealt with his death and moved on. The Hawks’ win over Iowa State reminded me of him, but that wasn’t the reason why I was sad. I’m sad because one of the best people I’ve ever known in my life has to grow old by herself.

My mom is my hero. Through all of the trials and tribulations she has dealt with in her life, she has come out fighting. She single-handedly raised me from the tender age of 14 along with my 12-year-old sister. The accomplishments my sister and I have made and will make are a testament to the outstanding parenting of my mother. For her I am forever grateful.

Some could say I’ve had a rough life because my dad died. For a while after his death, I thought so, too. My mindset changed one night after a basketball game. I was standing outside the school waiting for a ride home along with a teammate of mine. He was a troubled kid who had bounced around from one foster home to another.

I don’t remember how we got onto the subject, but he said something to me no one else had ever said. “You’re lucky.”

I stared at him blankly, trying to comprehend.

“I’ve never met my dad.”

He didn’t have to say anything more. While I didn’t quite agree with him at the moment, I started to believe him after thinking long and hard about the things everyone takes for granted.

Too many people spend their lives stressing about insignificant things. The most important lesson I’ve learned from my father’s passing was to stand back and look at the big picture. Who you are now is a direct result of the positive and negative events of your life. I can spend all day long telling someone how unlucky I am for having lost a parent, but in the end, I am extremely happy with my life. I have friends and hobbies I probably wouldn’t have had if he was still living.

When disaster strikes, embrace adversity. Stick it out through the hard times, and learn from them. Acting in this way is the only way for us to grow as people. Never forget to look at the big picture, and don’t let life pass you by because you obsess over the details.