“Die Another Day” is not so much a movie as it is a test of patience. There’s one relentlessly stupid stunt after another, asinine performances from Halle Berry and arch villain Toby Stevens and a shortage of spunk that has kept the series running for forty years.

Bond’s mission is to find the link between a North Korean terrorist and a thrill-seeking diamond connoisseur, somehow in between faking cardiac arrests, swimming in nearly-freezing water and sleeping with Berry, who probably modeled her performance off of a year’s-expired can of Spam.

The film seems to abandon every concept that used to make a James Bond movie enjoyable. The fun that once consumed each two-hour installment was the impossible situations that 007 was put into and expected to inevitably escape from.

The stunts were as big as the explosions, though the films relied more on double entendres, tongue-in-cheek humor, beautiful women, the fabulous set designs and catchy music.

“Die Another Day” lacks the edge that any other film in the series has breathed. Directed like a music video, with enough effects to qualify as an animated movie and a cameo from the certifiable “Worst Actress of the Century,” Madonna (an appearance that flatters her performance in “Swept Away”), “Die Another Day” makes me want to die to get away.

DVD Features

This two-disc set features two commentaries, one by director Lee Tamahori and producer Michael G. Wilson, the other by Pierce Brosnan and Rosamund Pike. There is one documentary and multiple vignettes that answer a lot of questions no one would want to know, thus providing yet another dynamic disc from the 007 Special Edition series that is much better than the film itself.