I can see my reflection on the computer screen. I should change my hair. I’ve kept it the same for years. I’ve had sideburns since I was a freshman in high school. I try shortening them, but it just looks weird. I need to focus. I need to talk about how “Adaptation” is a great movie. How can I say it’s great without just saying it’s great?

“Adaptation” is based on a book by Susan Orlean called “The Orchid Thief.” I tell people I’ve read the book, but that’s not true. I’ve read two chapters. What I did read was funny and well written.

Nicolas Cage plays a dual role — one as screenwriter Charlie Kaufman, the guy adapting “The Orchid Thief,” and the other is his brother, Donald. Donald isn’t real. The real Kaufman insists that he is.

It’s a little stupid to insist that someone who doesn’t exist actually does. Parents tell their children that Santa Claus exists. I hope a child isn’t reading this and finds out that Santa isn’t real.

The movie shows Charlie adapting the story of Orlean’s book about John Laroche, a renegade plant dealer who lives in Florida. Chris Cooper plays Laroche. He won an Oscar for it and deserved it. He’s hysterical. He was really good in “American Beauty.”

Meryl Streep plays Orlean. She didn’t win an Oscar for her performance. She should have. This is one of her best performances. She was also pretty good in “Postcards from the Edge.” She was great in “Kramer vs. Kramer,” too, but particularly in that elevator scene at the end. There’s that word again. “Great.” It sounds stupid if you read it slowly. “Greeee-eh-eight.” Or something that you’d have for lunch. I need to focus.

There’s a picture of Orlean on the back flap of “The Orchid Thief.” She looks nothing like Meryl Streep. If the real person and the character look nothing like each other, there’s no reason Brad Pitt couldn’t play me in a movie. That would make my girlfriend happy. If not Pitt, maybe they could get Ben Kingsley. He was awesome in that movie about Gandhi.

Cooper is remarkable in the film. The car accident scene where his mother and uncle are killed is heartbreaking. The film takes on another dimension as Cooper expresses the deep emotions behind the grin of his toothless character.

It’s a movie that’s driven by performances. I usually can’t stand Nicolas Cage. “Con Air” was pretty dull. What was with his hair in that movie? I think I have a newfound respect for him with this film. He’s dynamic and plays the brothers really well. The different personalities are easily distinguished by the mannerisms of his performance.

There are hardly any supplements for the “Adaptation” DVD. Other than a trailer, there’s no other extras. That’s really disappointing. I wonder why Spike Jonze and Kaufman didn’t record a commentary. Maybe that was the joke. They had a good movie and to spite their fans, they decided to release a bare-bones DVD.

This is good. I think I have enough information to start the story.

I could say that if I were to nominate one film that symbolized the art of filmmaking, it would be “Adaptation.” I’ve used a lead like that before. Would anyone notice? I doubt it. I should come up with something different.

How about this: Curell sits at his desk writing an article about the “Adaptation” DVD. He wonders why he hasn’t changed his hair in years. He talks about the length of his sideburns.

No. This is a gimmick. People will see right through it. It’s just like what Kaufman did for his own script. It’s not original. It’s original in the movie, but not in this case.

I have notes from Jabari Asim about writing good reviews. I’m violating rule number four: I’m not writing in a distinctive voice. Oh well … I need to forget about Asim for once.

This feels right. Maybe people won’t see through it. Maybe they’ll call it brilliant. Probably not, though. They should see at least see “Adaptation.” It’s a great movie.