The coffee pot is empty, the vending machine ate your change, you missed the bus and you’re late for class. Again. A typical day? One filled with inconveniences and annoyances?

Sometimes it seems that way.

What would happen if we all decided to make a conscious effort to look for everything that is right with this world, and right in our lives? What would happen if we tried really hard to focus on positive things and the things which we do have control over?

We might feel better physically, smile more easily, laugh more often and perhaps begin to experience a more fulfilling life.

During the past few weeks, I’ve begun to develop this vague sense of peace or hope. I say vague because it’s not with me all the time, but when it is, all the everyday little annoyances just don’t bother me as much. I can see a bigger picture.

I think I’ll call it gratitude. What, exactly, is gratitude? Is it a warm fuzzy feeling of thankfulness? No. It’s the ability to find joy and serenity amidst the messiness and chaos of life. It’s an attitude. Sarah Ban Breathnach, author of the book “Simple Abundance,” defines gratitude as “The most passionate transformative force in the universe … Gratitude bestows reverence, allowing us to encounter everyday epiphanies, those transcendent moments of awe that change forever how we experience life (is it abundant or lacking?) and the world (is it friendly or is it hostile?) … Gratitude holds us together even as we’re falling apart.”

How do we find gratitude when we’re stuck in traffic, already running late for an appointment and spill a drink on that new suit? How do we find gratitude when the copy machine breaks down (again), we run out of change and lose the disk on which we’ve saved two important papers and half of a thesis on?

We must recognize that there is a higher power, a spirit, a force, a God (call it what you want) that is in control of everything.

Being late or losing your car keys or getting in an accident isn’t going to disrupt the big picture or the universe. In fact, it may very well be part of the big picture.

There is no such thing as a coincidence.

Ever since the war started, a stench of hostility seems to linger in the air, tempers are flaring and our patience is diminishing. We are stressed out. Americans are stressed for obvious reasons. Those with loved ones in the war are anxious and scared. We have allowed the world at large to steal our gratitude.

The war is no excuse for short tempers. I have heard it said that Americans tend to be perceived as angrier and more hostile compared to people of other nations. It’s ingrained in our culture — individual achievement and rights are valued over the good of the group. That leads to arrogance. We think we deserve anything as long as we work hard enough for it. And when our expectations don’t happen, we get angry.

I know of no other culture where psychotherapists and counselors preside over support groups and teach anger management skills because we’ve become unable to cope with unmet expectations. I know of no other culture where the term “road rage” has been coined to describe the way in which anger has become a serious hazard, where unnecessary lawsuits over petty disputes have been a prime cashcow for attorneys. And, I know of no other culture where fistfights have erupted during sporting events because a loss is difficult to accept.

We need to re-evaluate what’s really important. We need to examine our priorities. We need to be taught how to find gratitude because that’s the key to dramatically changing our attitude.

Breathnach suggests setting aside some time each day for two months to think about and give thanks for five gifts. That’s what I try to do once a year at Thanksgiving. But Breathnach believes it must be intentional. A habit. Every day. Not easy, I know. Start with one for a month and then two for the next month.

For me, gratitude is a much-needed hug. A smile. Laughter. Gratitude is having a car that runs and the freedom to drive anywhere. It is knowing where I’m going to sleep at night will be safe and warm. Gratitude is a hot shower and that first sip of coffee on a cold morning. Gratitude is having access to word processing programs, an abundance of food and clean drinking water. Gratitude is receiving unconditional love and acceptance. Gratitude is when much needed rain pours down on thirsty, parched fields. Gratitude is the availability of CyRide to take me to campus on those cold blustery mornings and an unexpected source of money falling into my lap. Gratitude is when a warm sun finally breaks through after the storm clouds dissipate. Gratitude is seeing a light at the end of a long dark tunnel. Feeling hope. Gratitude will be the return of spring-like weather, which may be Friday.

Let’s hope.