Just so you know, we’re ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas.”

This is the sentence that sparked a flame in millions of rednecks across the United States. These are the big words that tiny little Natalie Maines, one-third of the Dixie Chicks, unleashed on a concert crowd in London.

Since then, the band has publicly apologized for the statement, but the people of our country have already responded and the damage has already been done.

People demanded Dixie Chicks songs be removed from radio playlists. Dixie Chicks CDs were smashed and trampled by protesters. And last I heard, Maines may be harboring terrorists in her mansion.

You got off easy with the American public, girlie, because that ain’t nothing compared to who you’ve pissed off now — the Marshall Tucker Band. That’s right, don’t think for one minute this band is going to stand around and put up with your liberal bullcrap. Hell no, honey. They’re hosting them an anti-Dixie Chicks concert May 1 in Greenville, S.C. — and Natalie, you’re not invited.

Not only have your album sales fallen 42 percent since you decided you could have an opinion about our president, but now you’ve got 106 Southerners all riled up. That’s six in the band, plus the 100 other mullet-wearin’ folks who still follow the Marshall Tucker Band and love U.S. of A.

OK, all jokes aside, it’s getting a little out of hand. You have the right to call the radio station and demand it doesn’t play the Dixie Chicks — you have the right to attend anti-Dixie Chicks concerts. If you’re the Marshall Tucker Band, you have the right to continue playing “Heard It In a Song” with a group that in no way, shape or form resembles the original lineup that made the song famous.

And Maines has the right to stand on stage and tell 15,000 people what she thinks of Dubya.

Brave little Natalie wasn’t the only celebrity to receive negative backlash for voicing her opinion, though. Michael Moore caused a big hubbub with his acceptance speech at the Academy Awards. At a recent Pearl Jam concert, several fans walked out and booed when Eddie Vedder impaled a mask of Bush on the microphone.

Why do we suddenly not like it when celebrities have an opinion? We just want them to look good, sing well and entertain us, right? Celebrities aren’t necessarily smart — they don’t know George W. Bush from Martin Sheen. We scoff at the notion of any rock star knowing more than we do — after all, we watch the unbiased news and it tells us we are “liberating” Iraq, not invading it. Dumb movie stars.

Believe it or not, I, for one, think some celebrities — not all, but some — may have opinions and ideas about the government, world, war, etc., that are just as good as yours, mine and even the Marshall Tucker Band’s.

I propose this: Those who believe that freedom of speech belongs to everyone in this great country, whether they be in front of an audience of 30,000 or talking to their next-door neighbor, should counter-protest the Dixie Chicks.

Let’s make up for those lagging album sales by going out and buying the album. I know, it may sound about as appealing as rinsing your eyes with tequila, but take one for the team.

Or maybe instead of breaking piles of records in public, we should have a big square dance. Get out the boombox, pop in “Fly,” spin your partner and do-si-do while waving around those little American flags.

Because, after all, the only thing more American than a good old-fashioned bluegrass square dance is freedom of speech.