Gently, a man touches the cheek of the woman who is laying in bed with him. He caresses her soft skin with passion and tenderness. “I like laying here with you,” he tells her, pulling her closer to him.

She smiles. “I love you,” she tells him, bringing a smile to his face, but no verbal agreement. She looks at him quizzically, then gives him a kiss and asks, “When are you going to leave your wife for me?”

Sounds more like a scene from one of those cheesy romance novels that our mothers read to escape reality, but in actuality, infidelity is a growing (or just more apparent) issue in modern society.

The “scarlet letter” is tagging more and more people, leaving a small group to wonder if they will ever be able to trust their husband or wife.

Few people actually leave their spouses for their lovers, according to Peggy Vaughan, author of “The Monogamy Myth,” but she estimates that 60 percent of men and 40 percent of women are unfaithful to those they are married to.

However, it should be noted that statistics on the subject are often inaccurate due to denial or even because estranged couples claim that their spouse had an affair for a reason for divorce.

In December 1998, USA Today reported that 24 percent of men and 14 percent of women cheated, but noted that earlier suggestions were as high as 68 percent of men and 66 percent of women. The variation in the numbers is incredible.

Personally, I want to know where, in the grand scheme of our personal goals and future dreams, does adultery fit in? Where is it that we hope our husband or wife will go off and have a secret affair or even just a one night stand with a co-worker or friend?

Well, folks, make room for it in your American Dream, because it seems to be becoming inevitable.

Apparently, the vow “until death do us part” comes with the fine print, “As long as you can accept my other future lover.” Monogamy is a thing of the past, practically retro in nature. It seems if you want your spouse to remain faithful, you better handcuff him or her in the basement; this may sound a bit kinky, but it should prove to be rather effective.

“Men are only as faithful as their options,” said Chris Rock in a comedy special last fall, referring to the Rev. Jesse Jackson, who in 2001 admitted to being the father of a baby born out of wedlock. The child was nearly two years old when Jackson ‘fessed up.

Just a couple of weeks ago, Bill Maher used the same phrase to describe Bill Clinton’s adultery scandal in his HBO special, “Be more cynical.” In this case, Maher was referring to Monica Lewinsky, but let us not forget Paula Jones and Gennifer Flowers.

Clinton probably got more action than any president since John F. Kennedy, although the two are hardly comparable since Kennedy seemed to have a new mistress every other week.

I found Maher’s comment extremely disturbing, not because it alluded to the promiscuity of our former president, but because my dad agreed with Maher’s statement. It is hard to swallow when your father agrees that being faithful revolves solely around your “options” as opposed to remaining monogamous for the love of your significant other.

Also disturbing is a comment one of my political science professors made earlier this semester about the Clinton and Kennedy affairs. He seemed to be making excuses for politicians, claiming that women chase power (which they may well do). “What’s restraint?” he asked me. “Isn’t accepting only one in 1,000 offers restraint?”

I guess in my book restraint is not cheating. Restraint is showing respect to your mate, your children and the sanctity of marriage. Restraint is accepting zero offers.

The bombardment I have felt recently on the topic of infidelity has made me realize how important it is to address the issue. Comedians may mock it, but if you are the one being cheated on, it is no laughing matter. It can lead to divorce (1 in 2 marriages nowadays end that way), depression and in some cases the unhappiness can lead to suicide.

It is likely that everyone either knows someone who has been cheated on, been cheated on themselves or cheated on someone. Not many degrees of separation there, huh? The shadows of cheaters are just a little too close for comfort.

Unfortunately, there is not a whole lot that can be done in regards to our unfaithful nation. Suspicion and jealousy will only drive our loved ones away even more.

The only thing people can do is hope that they are a good judge of character, and maybe have a little more faith in their husband, wife or significant other. If that doesn’t work, we can always rely on those handcuffs.