“Another Day, Another Dollar, Another Terror Alert Rescinded.”

The “terror alert level” has once again been raised and again subsequently lowered … again. Now I’m certainly no alarmist, nor am I a supporter of what I like to call the U.N. Women’s Elizabethan Cake Decorating Class, aka the U.N. Security Council (because let’s face it, that’s about all they’re good for and they’re running a fine line at that).

But keeping international-appeaser affairs aside for the time being, I am fairly versed in American nursery rhymes, and I do remember the one that I’ve decided to, under careful consideration, rename: “The Government Who Cried Wolf.”

We can all admit with a solemn moment of reflection that the Sept. 11 attacks angered just about all American citizens, but how far is too far? How far does Tom Ridge and the rest of the Homeland Security and intelligence gurus have to stretch our trust before we begin to think that the next terror alert and every terror alert thereafter will be just as benign as the 25 terror alerts preceding it?

It’s beginning to seem that every week a new terror alert is being issued, from keeping an eye on our fresh water supply (November 2002) to paying close attention to inter-city water trucks (October 2002).

There’s been terror alerts for the hajj, for Halloween and shopping malls and to everything but eyeballing the 75-year-old reference desk clerk at local Midwestern libraries as possible al-Qaida sleeper cells.

It is unfortunate that yet another monetarily squanderous government organization must be created — among the dozens already in existence — to do exactly what the others have, in-part, always been doing.

I’m no political analyst, nor do I pretend to be, but certainly expanding the duties of current federal programs, installations, organizations and departments could, with only a fraction of the expanded funding needed to create an entirely separate “Homeland Security” division, cover the duties of the entirely new department designed to do so. Republican fiscal priorities seem to be askew once again, as ‘Dubya’ needs homeland security as a platform to showcase his “success” for the upcoming presidential races.

The American people need to understand that their tax dollars are being used to fund a federal security department that could quite possibly feign security threats at the behest of an administration which is losing approval points on a weekly basis.

Let’s say that for one moment a terror alert materialized into an actual attack. Wrapping your house in plastic and duct-taping your windows may effectively prevent chemical or biological agents from entering your residences, but only at the expense of your viable breathing air, and ultimately your existence on this planet, because in order for plastic to be effective against chemical and/or biological agents it has to be 100 percent airtight.

Short of having a surface-to-air missile platform in the backyard of every suburban house, there is nothing that the American people can do to protect themselves from another major terrorist event in this country.

The current terror threat level is “yellow,” which means there is a “significant risk of terrorist attacks.” That’s right America, the government has defined the median of risk on a scale of 1-5 as a “significant risk.”

This is an inherently skewed scale because “yellow” is the de-elevated threat level that we’ve been living under virtually non-stop for the past year, and nothing has happened, even while there has been what they call a “significant risk.”

Stop worrying, America. Rest easy, relax and take the terror alerts with a grain of salt. Big Brother is doing everything humanly possible to keep us, our integrity, our country and our lives safe from outside harm, and we would be foolish to drive ourselves crazy thinking we could do any better ourselves.

Chris Larson

Alumnus