We, as a people, as a generation, are getting soft. Technology and the evolution of our world have allowed us to grow into a nation disconnected from certain realities that harden a person. There are very few things to toughen us anymore.

Past generations lived in a world in which they had to worry about being drafted into military service, or toil long hours working the land, or deal with racism. Now, I am glad these worries have significantly diminished (but certainly still exist) today, but these changes only allow us to grow softer.

We need to have something to resent, some little seed of bitterness in the pit of our stomachs, an avenue for embarrassment and anguish. It’s good for us, facing the realities that life is not always full of beautiful roses.

One of the last remaining means of getting this much needed occasional punch in the gut, the great game that is dating, is also switching over. Thanks to the new craze of online dating, I fear this once reliable source of all that makes a people tough will join the list of reliable, predictable nothings.

Since the beginning of time, dating has been a great source of heartache, bitterness and other toughness-producing traits. The layout is simple: A person, let’s say a male named Paul, begins to desire accompaniment in some way. This desire propels Paul into the ancient ritual of attempting to garner a date with someone he believes may adequately fulfill his yearnings. In theory, Paul eventually finds his mate, and they live happily ever after.

But the real value in the dating experience is that it never works out that easily. For example, Paul may not have a great pickup line (he likes to start conversations with “My mom says I’m handsome. What do you think?”), thus never getting any attention or dates with women he’s interested in, causing him to feel embarrassed and rejected.

Nothing toughens a person like rejection and embarrassment. It thickens the hide.

Or perhaps Paul finds a girl, goes out on a date or two, but then she stops returning his phone calls. Paul realizes she has blown him off, but since he does not have an explanation, he’s riddled with self-doubt. Plus, he’s bitter about her not having the decency to at least tell him face-to-face that she didn’t want to see him anymore.

Again, we see that both bitterness and self-doubt, two great emotions needed to make a person tougher, are produced by the tumultuous quest for a relationship.

It is this pain and heartache that give the quest for relationships its real value. It toughens people up. And, as I always say, tough people are strong people.

But the Internet is trying to ruin all that. Dating sites are popping up left and right, poised to eliminate all the goodness that conventional dating instills in its woe-filled participants. On many of these sites, you can search for possible matches based on common traits. If you are looking for a person of a particular religion, just enter in the information. If you are looking to hook up with someone in the same career field, let the computer do the work for you. If you are looking for Southern male doctors with gray hair, blue eyes and at least one missing finger, fill in the corresponding boxes and choose from the 63 possibilities.

Of course, you can see how disastrous this could potentially be. What about the disappointment produced when you finally find someone you’re interested in, attracted to, and who agrees to date you, only to find out later that they enjoy skinning live cats in their spare time?

Even worse, though, is many of these sites then allow you to speak online with the person that matches your criteria. This eliminates many of the awkward obligatory questions that mark the beginning of any encounter. This mutes the laughter from the girl you’re hitting on when you tell her you’re a journalism major and hides the sneer from the feminist when you unwittingly mention that you believe all women belong in the kitchen (which I will say right now I do not believe).

The end result is less damaged feelings, more self-esteem and some kind of understanding of the person before you start dating in real life. How does this sound good to anyone?

I’ll take my lame pickup lines, my desperate attempts at awkward small talk and my repeated disasters with women over this online dating any day. Even if I end up a lonely old man, at least I’ll be tougher for it.

Dustin Kass is a junior in journalism and mass communication from Dubuque.